Love is Blind (A Danisnotonfire Fanfiction)
by IAmWhatIEat
Summary: Hi. My name is Lia. I decided to move to England in search of following my dreams in music, and instead I get hit in the face with this really awkward guy's iPhone and he ends up falling in love with me. And I think I might be in love with him. Maybe. And I think his best friend hates me. Sorta. Oh, did I mention I'm blind?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Lia

"I hate my life_._ I hate my life. I hate my life."

Why does this city have to be so confusing? Holy shit. I might as well be in the labyrinth of hell, making my way to my own crucifixion. I felt shoulders brush/bump mine as I tried to make my way down the street.

"Madam." Someone caught my arm, jerking me back, and I almost turned around and slapped them. You didn't touch me without my permission.

"Yes?" I made a hissing sound at the end. I wouldn't have been surprised if I started projectile vomiting split pea soup and preparing a incantation to sacrifice this guy to Satan, I was so mad that this guy for grabbing my arm. I kind of felt a twinge of guilt for the guy, though. I mean, he probably meant well.

"Madam, you were about to step off the curb into heavy traffic."

I pushed my curly hair out of my face. I imagined what this guy looked like. He probably was bald and short and had a big nose. His breath smelled like coffee. He let go of my arm and I breathed a short sigh out of my nose. "Thank you." I managed.

"Ah. American." He giggled and walked off.

I touched around the area with my cane a little and came to a wall and a metal pole, which I assumed was a traffic light. I also assumed I was on the corner, with the sound brakes stopping right in front of me.

The benefit of being blind was that when the general public saw you had a cane they gave you as much room as they possibly could. Like blindness was a communicable disease that they didn't want to catch like mono or the Clap or the bubonic plague or something. In their heads they probably thought they were doing me a service._ Better not walk too close to the blind girl, she might get confused and start walking into walls._ I was in my own little bubble and unless someone wanted to go against the social norms, like Coffee-Breath, it usually stayed that way.

I took this opportunity to pull out my paper. The braille that I punched in the corner was starting to wear a little, but that didn't matter. I had memorized the address. Actually, I memorized the whole letter. This piece of paper was going to make or break my life.

_Now, only if I could maneuver this city._

I pushed my hair out of my face and waited for the light, which had a nifty middle-aged English woman going "Wait. Wait. Wait." every second or so for the visually impaired. They had those in L.A., but they were a male guy, who I imagined kind of looking like Coffee-Breath. I wondered if that's what the Queen sounded like. She probably had this high and regal voice. "_Yes, I would like a spot of tea. William _did_ win the polo match, quite nice of you for asking."_

I thought had a general idea of where I was going. My flat-mate, Sam said she was going to show me. But, then a thing of a thing that was so important that she couldn't miss it came up. So, I was stuck going off her directions, which were slightly contradictory and peppered with non-sensical British slang. But, now?

"Oh God." I leaned against the cold stone of building I had my hand on. "I'm so lost."

I couldn't miss this opportunity though. I pulled the letter out again, running my thumb over the raised dots in the corner. This is the whole reason I came here. "Fuck." I muttered and put the paper away. I started down the road again.

Who knows? Maybe a miracle would happen. It's happened to us blind-folk before. Like, when Jesus spat in the mud and put it on that dude's eyes. It could happen.

Hopefully.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Dan

"I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life." I muttered as I sighed against a wall. "What the hell are you doing in there, Phil? Writing your memoirs?" I called out to my best friend and flat-mate, who apparently _had _to try on this thing he found.

"Shut your gob. I will be out in a minute." He called back.

"I'm going next door." I pulled out my iPhone and touched Twitter.

"Okay, I'll meet you there." But, I had already started for the door, not really listening anymore. I started reading though Lindsay Lohan's drunk ramblings from the night before on Twitter. Not really paying attention to where I was going, although I do know that I was making my way next door at the other shop on the corner.

I pressed my home button and touched Temple Run. Does anyone play Temple Run anymore? Probably not. Although, I have to say that when I was approximately 8, it was a very fun game. The tunnels were my favorite part.

I continued on the sidewalk, passing the shop I said I was going to be at, glancing up only long enough to make sure I wasn't going to accidently fall down a gap stairway.

_Smack!_

The next series of events probably happened in about 2.8 seconds, but it felt like I was moving through molasses and the Matrix at the same time. Partially because I was so embarrassed that I knocked this girl off her feet, partially because I'm so awkward that I even surprise _myself _sometimes. My iPhone flew out of my hand and made impact with the face of the unlucky soul that happen to be in said iPhone's way. I tried to catch my very expensive phone before it hit the pavement, knocking into the girl and sending her on her knees and elbows. And then, to top it all off, I lost my balance and fell in front of her, coming so close, we were almost brushing noses.

Her eyes were wide, like a fawn's that got caught in headlights, and pale blue. They stared through me, like I wasn't there for some reason. Her mass of dark, curly hair fell over her shoulder into her face.

"Oh, shit." She breathed and started groping around on the pavement, patting it every so often. "Where is it? Where is it?" A height of panic entered her voice.

"Where is what?" I managed to ask. Maybe she lost a contact or an earring or something. I looked down. My hands were raw from the concrete and my phone, although still intact, now had a nice scratch on the back.

"My cane! My fucking cane!" She sat back on her heels and pushed her hair out of her face. "This whole day can suck my-,"

"Well, then." I interrupted and coughed. "It can't be that bad."

Her eyebrows rose. "Can you find my cane?"

I got up and looked around. I found her cane in the gutter in the street, with a bend in it from a car, I presumed. I looked down at the piece of metal in my hand. It was tall, almost chin-height and had a red rubber ball at one end and a wrist-strap at the other. It wasn't until then, when I realized what it was for.

"You're blind!" I pretty much almost shouted, whilst simultaneously turning the deepest shade of red humanly possible and clamping a hand over my mouth, so other obscenely awkward things wouldn't fly out.

She rocked on her heels, still sitting in the middle of the pavement. Her arms were crossed and she blew a curl out of her face. "And you're and ASSHOLE!" She shouted back, climbed to her feet, grabbed the cane of my hands and started walking.

Heat flooded my face as bystanders stared. I chased after her though. I couldn't just leave her. Her knee was bleeding. She was having a hard time maneuvering with her cane that was bent. She looked like she was going to cry. And, it was. All. My. Fault.

"Wait. Please. I'm so sorry." I touched her on her arm. She turned around so fast, I thought her head span all the way around her a second.

She pushed her hair out of her face. "Don't fucking touch me." She growled, her pale blue eyes flashing angrily. I let go of her arm in surrender. She continued walking.

"Please. Though. I'm so sorry. Can I make it up to you?"

She stopped and sighed with frustration.

This was the first time that I got to look at her, really look at her. She was short, or well, shorter than me and delicate-looking, like you could break her if you didn't handle her correctly. She was wearing dark skinny jeans (note: that now were stained red and ripped at the knee when I decided to push her down. Good job, Dan. Good job.) and sneakers and a blue hoodie that brought out her wide eyes. She had a dash of freckles over her small, ski-tip nose and a worry line in-between her eyes. Her eyelashes were as dark as her long, curly mass of brown hair that whipped in the wind.

She reached into the pocket of her hoodie and pulled out a piece of paper. She opened it and handed it to me. "Can you show me where the address is in this letter?"

I scanned the letter. It was an invitation for a job interview and it was at Royal House Records, an up-and-coming label that was signing all these really awesome indie and electronic bands. "This is so cool!" I spazzed a little and glanced at her quickly to make sure she didn't see how bloody unattractively embarrassing I was. Thankfully, my dorkiness was lost on her. I'd hate to admit it, but I was kind of glad she was blind so she couldn't see that I was a twirling vortex of awkward shame and despair.

_Oh my God. I'm such a horrible person for thinking that. _Good job, Dan. Again. Good Job.

"Do you know where it is?" Her eyebrows knitted together.

"Yeah. It's not too far from here."

"Well, lead the way." She said, and tucked her hand into the crook of my elbow. My face got so hot from this sudden movement that I could have imploded under the force of heat, like a coal turning into a diamond.

And I turned and walked this blind girl down the street, completely forgetting that I left Phil in that clothing shop


	3. Chapter 3

Lia

Chapter Three

So, there I was, walking arm and arm with this complete stranger that threw his phone in my face (literally) and then pushed me to the ground. Oh well, he was a local, that's for sure. So, he knew where he was going. And who in their right mind would rape a blind girl? I could recognize you based on what brand of shampoo you use and if you had onion cream cheese this morning with your bagel or not.

I prayed he knew what he was doing leading me. I mean, it's not like I had much of a choice, with my cane being bent and all. But, still. My knee was already throbbing, I don't need to be led into a wall or another person or something.

He was being awfully quiet. Which was fine, but the horns in this city were deafening and I needed a distraction before I went bonkers. I squeezed his bicep a little, which made him jump. "I probably should get your name, so I can warn my other blind friends to stay away so you don't knock them down too."

He giggled. He had a nice laugh. "I'm still very sorry about that."

I shrugged. "It's okay. I've been through worse. I'm Lia, by the way."

"Lia." He repeated. I have to say, my name sounded so much nicer coming out of his mouth. "My name is Dan. So, I take it from your accent, you're not from here?"

"Nope. I'm from the magical land of hamburgers and Hollywood." I tried imagining what Dan looked like. Was he blond? Did he have dark hair? Did he have a nice nose? Or mouth? Or eyes? From hanging on to his arm, I could tell he was thin and tall.

He giggled nervously again. "I've been there a couple of times. What part are you from?"

"Burbank, California. What about you? Are you originally from London?"

"Manchester." He answered and stopped. "Here we are. Royal House Records." The direction of his voice went up; I could tell he was looking at the sky. So, I assumed that the building was very, very tall.

I slowly brought my hand up and felt the cool glass of the door. I let go of Dan's arm as I pushed the door open. I half wondered if Dan was going to wait around for me or if he was going to split. I was here. I didn't need him anymore. Although part of me wished he would stay for the support, no matter how anonymous we were to each other.

I slowly walked forward. I could tell by the way the air was moving that this was a very big room. I held my hands out as walked forward, as to not run into anything.

I touched the countertop and I could hear someone behind the desk smacking on gum.

"Name?" A bitchy, high-pitched voice said. _Smack. Smack. Smack._ Went her gum.

I gulped. "Emilia Everwood."

"I need you to fill this out." A clipboard scraped over the countertops in my direction.

I scowled, all nerves flying away in hatred for this inconsiderate bitch behind the counter. "Dude, I'm blind. How do you expect me to fill this out?"

"I can help." Dan said quietly. I jumped, startled. He was so quiet, I didn't even know he was still there.

_Smack. Smack. Smack._ "You may take a seat over there."

A hand slipped into mine and I was led to a leather couch that was so smooth, you started to slide off, if you weren't careful.

"Okay…" Dan mumbled to himself. "Full Name?"

"Emilia. E-M-I-L-I-A. Elizabeth. Everwood. E-V-E-R-W-O-O-D."

"Birthday?"

I sighed. "Cinco De Mayo."

"Wut."

"Cinco De Mayo? The fifth of May?"

"Okay…"

"This is dumb." I muttered putting my hand on my fist.

"Lia." Dan said in sort of a warning tone.

"Well, it is. That lady was a-,"

He coughed, interrupting me. "Are all blind people this angry?"

Anger and frustration welled up in my chest. I was so ready just to quit and go back to California and live my life as a blind crazy cat-lady. My roommate was a flake. I had no idea where I was. My knee hurt. My cane was bent. And here I was sitting with some stranger in a lobby, waiting for the interview that could change my life forever.

I deflated like a balloon that Freddy Kreuger got ahold of. All energy and anger flooded out of me. I just wanted to go home, curl up and sleep.

"Miss Everwood?"

I perked up at my name. "That's me."

"Hi, my name is Paul Bouchard." I stood up suddenly and jerked my hand out like a spaz waiting for a handshake. _God, why do I have to be so awkward?_

"Mr. Bouchard, it's so nice to meet you."

"Please, call me Paul. Now, if you will follow me?"

I turned pale. Did he not know? I heard Dan get up suddenly. "Would you like an escort, Milady?"

"I'm sorry, lad, this is a closed audition."

No. This kid has gotten himself too far in now to be turned at the door. I needed him for this audition, otherwise, I would go nuts. Like, "Here's Johnny." Nuts.

"I'm blind." I spat. "And he's helping me get around."

"You don't say?" Mr. Bouchard said. "Wow, I would have never guessed."

Dan slipped his hand into mine and I was led down a hallway, up an elevator, down another hallway, took a turn and then we were at a sound room. I could tell because all of a sudden our steps got really muffled and our voices weren't carrying anymore.

He squeezed my hand. "Knock 'em dead." He whispered. I just gulped.

Paul then led me into the sound room. "Alright, Miss Everwood. I have a piano here for you and a guitar. The microphone is right here." He lifted my hand to feel the soft netting of the mike. "If you need anything, I will be right in the other room. Wow me."

I found the piano and sat down. It was a real baby grand. The keys were so smooth and the sound was so crisp. I knew exactly which song to play. I played an intro to a song that I wrote and knew from heart. A soft ballad that I didn't include in the videos I sent because I thought it was a little too personal. But, now, this piano was going to know my soul.

The song didn't have a name yet, so I just called it The Lullaby. With the keys under my fingers, I closed my eyes, imagined my mother sitting there, teaching me how to play, back when I could still see.

Back when everything was okay.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Dan

_Clang!_

The clipboard I was still holding clattered to the ground at my feet, but I didn't notice. My eyes widened. This wasn't the same Lia that I pushed down on the sidewalk an hour and a half ago. This wasn't the same sharp-tongued firecracker that I had come to appreciate. This girl sitting at the piano, keying out a simple, yet beautiful and raw ballad was a completely different girl. She became small, sitting at the massive instrument, her voice and skill overpowering her. I watched as tears rolled down her cheeks. I became uncomfortable all of a sudden. I felt like I was intruding in a precious, personal moment. But, at the same time, I couldn't look away, it was so beautiful. _She _was so beautiful and her voice was haunting and surreal. I wanted to know what the world did to her that made her so sad.

_'Hush, baby. Don't say word'_

_But, how could I not speak_

_When all of this world _

_Robbed me of you? _

_My heart is shattered and broken_

_This place is cold and dead_

_And all I have are my demons_

_That live now inside my head_

Paul leaned over the production table on his fists, his face stern and unreadable. The air was stuffy and stifling and the room was claustrophobic. If this were any other day, I would want to run home, to my computer and my bed, to my best friend and my bubble that I've grown so fond of. But, now? I couldn't leave, no. Not without Lia. It felt like I had been missing something my whole life and didn't know it until today. I found it in this potty-mouthed blind girl that was now bleeding her heart and soul on a set of keys. I touched my face, and was startled when I found it was wet. _Tears. _I was crying for her.

_'Hush, baby. Don't say word'_

_But, how could I not speak_

_When all of this world _

_Robbed me of you?_

_I will live this broken life_

_I will walk this empty street_

_For the chance to be with you_

_Like you are inside my dreams_

Lia ended her song and turned towards Paul on the other side of the window. He cleared his voice. I could see his knuckles were white from being in tight fists. He still held that stern, pokerface.

"That was very good, Lia." He said after a moment. "I will have to review over with my colleagues. We will be in touch." He turned back to the table.

She stood up and made her way to the door. I let her push her hand through the crook in my elbow again. I was amazed how well we fit together like that. Her hand was hot against my arm.

"Thank you for the opportunity." She said flatly and we walked out together like that.

It wasn't until we reached the doors and we were walking down the street when she said anything. "Did I do okay? Did he like it?"

"Y-you did great." I was a bit lost for words.

Her brows knitted together. "You don't sound so sure."

"No, no, no. I just-,"

"I knew I shouldn't have done that song. Of all songs, why did I have to pick that one?" She pushed her hair out of her face.

"No. I was going to say-,"

"It was a stupid decision. I blew it!" She sighed heavily. "I guess I'll just go home and-,"

I stopped her, making her jerk back and almost tripping her again. I wheeled her around so she was facing me and put my hands on her shoulders. "Stop it. You did fantastic. That song was so beautiful. That guy would have to be mentally disturbed if he didn't sign you. What was that song about, anyway?"

Her hands came up slowly to my chest and she gently pushed me away. "Thank you. I mean, for getting me here. It was very nice of you." Her voice was as flat as her eyes that stared through me.

She turned the opposite direction of where we were going and started walking off. But, I couldn't let her do that. I couldn't let her just leave like that. There must've been a reason that we met like this. There must've. This wasn't just passing thing, I was convinced. We were to help each other somehow.

I ran after her. "Lia, wait."

"What? I said thank you. What more do you want?" She wheeled around.

"I don't think it should end like this." I said, slowly.

Her eyebrows raised and her body went rigid. "End like what? We're two complete strangers, Dan. We're not friends. We're not even acquaintances. I don't know you from Adam. You helped me because I asked you to and this is the time we say goodbye and our lives keep going."

"Can I buy you some coffee?" I couldn't let it end like this. No, there was something more. I've never been so sure in my life. "I mean, I did push you down. It would be the least I could do, after the kind of day you've had. Please?"

She sighed and relaxed. "Coffee sounds good."

I smiled at her, even if it was a little bit too much. She slipped her hand in my arm and I started leading her to the nearest Starbuck's.

_Bzzzz!_

My phone went off in my pocket, making me jump a little. Marimba played joyfully and Phil's picture from his birthday party last month popped on my screen.

_Phil._

"Oh my God." I answered the phone really quickly. "Phil?"

"Dan! Where are you? It's been like three hours! I've been looking all over for you!"

I was such a horrible human being. Why God didn't just smite me right then and there was beyond me. "I'm so sorry. I got into this sort of accident and then-,"

"You got into an accident? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. It's just kind of hard to explain. Meet us at the Starbuck's on Lexington and I will explain it all to you." I hung up on him without letting him speak.

Lia, who I was still arm in arm with turned her wide eyes towards me. "Girlfriend?" she said as casually as one would ask if they would like lunch or if they enjoyed the cinema.

Heat rose to my face. "No. That was Phil, my roommate."

She giggled. "So…your girlfriend?"

"Phil is not my girlfriend!"

"Whatever you say."

"You're a jerk."

She smiled really big. "It's the only way I get noticed by you sighted folk."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't worry. I don't think anyone could miss you."

She laced her fingers together, both of her small hands wrapping around my arm. "You know what I don't understand?"

"What's that?" I could see Starbucks in the distance.

"Why didn't you just leave me at the door?"

My face went hot again. How could I explain to her about what I felt in the studio earlier? She wouldn't understand or worse, she would call me some psychopath that falls in love with girls two hours after they meet them. Which, I wasn't, by the way.

"I think it was because I knew that you were alone and I wasn't going to leave you in your time of need."

She rolled her eyes. "My hero."

"Oh, shut up and let me buy you your bloody coffee."


	5. Chapter 5

Lia

Chapter 5

"One Vanilla Bean Frappuccino for the lady." I had a been sitting bored at a table in the coffee shop waiting for Dan to get through the line when Dan startled me with the token-of-apology that was my overpriced blended drink.

I could hear the chair on the other side of the table scrape back and Dan sit down.

"So, what are you going to do for the rest of the day?" Dan asked.

I found my coffee on the table and took a sip. "Probably practice on the piano, then go to bed and wait for my roommate to come home drunk at three in the morning like she does every night."

"Oh. That sounds awful." I imagined his eyebrows coming together in concern.

"My knees are so bruised up from tripping all over her stuff all of the time too."

He made a thoughtful noise. "Well, if you need it, me and Phil's flat is pretty roomie. You could live there until you hear from Royal House."

I made myself blink a couple of times while the offer hung in the air. I didn't understand why he was doing this. Our relationship was only about five hours old and it wasn't off to a very good start. I couldn't see his intentions and it scared the crap out of me. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Dan!" A voice said from behind Dan. I heard what sounded like a slap, which I assumed was this guy greeting Dan with a clap on his shoulder.

"Phil!" Dan greeted. "Phil, this is Lia. This is why you couldn't find me early."

I nodded my head. "Hello."

"Nice to meet you, Lia." He said curtly. "Dan, I need to get home. My video isn't going to edit itself."

"Video?" I cocked my head.

"Yes, video." Phil sounded flustered.

"Are you guys like filmmakers?" Phil was really starting to annoy me. I get that Dan ditched him or whatever. But he didn't have to be so rude. Jesus.

"Well, then." Dan interrupted with a cough. "Lia, I hoped you enjoyed your coffee, yes?"

I took a sip of my Frappuccino and smirked a little. "Eh, I've had better."

"Do you think you can find your way home?"

"Yeah, my flat is just around the block." I pointed over my shoulder. "And I'm a big, bad blind girl, remember."

"Wait, you're blind?" Phil sounded appalled.

I groaned and put my head on the table, almost knocking my overpriced coffee drink on the floor. "Yes, I'm blind. Why does everybody here make it sound like I have AIDS or something?"

"Actually, better idea: let me walk you home." I heard the squeal of a chair being pushed back.

I got up to and waited for Dan to grab my hand. They were hot, like he was nervous about something.

"I'll meet you at home, Phil?"

"Yeah, yeah."

We walked silently out of Starbuck's and down the street. Aside from the occasional direction, we were both silent.

"Well, you're girlfriend's nice." I said and squeezed Dan's hand.

He groaned. "I'm sorry about Phil. He was just really cross about being left."

I shrugged. "I would be too, I guess."

We lapsed into more silence. Dan's hands were nice, even if they were hot. They were big and strong. His thumb would twitch every now and again, and tickle the inside of my palm.

"You never answered my question." I said finally.

"What question was that?"

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

We rounded the corner and came to my flat. I unlocked the gate of the elevator and then turned, waiting for Dan's answer.

He gave a small sigh. "I don't know. I can't answer that. Not now, anyway." He grabbed both my hands. "I just…feel responsible for you, somehow."

That should've made me mad. I mean, he didn't actually answer my question. Also, no one was responsible for me except me. That's how it's been for 10 some-odd years. Why that should change now, with a total stranger in a foreign land, was beyond me. But, it didn't make me mad. A feeling a warmth entered my chest. I couldn't describe it, except it was the same feeling I had when I dream of my mother. There was another feeling, though. Like, somehow all of this was way too good to be true. I couldn't shake it.

I turned my head down so I would speak low and Dan wouldn't see the tears in my eyes. "Thank you for everything that you've done today, really. You're probably the nicest person I've met, ever." I dropped his hands and turned towards the elevator.

"Wait!" He bounded up to me and pressed a piece of paper in my hand. "This is my phone number. I'm sorry that it's not in Braille. But, if you ever need anything, call me. Okay?"

I felt the piece of paper between my fingertips and nodded. "Okay."

"It was great to meet you, Lia. I really hope the best for you."

And like that he was gone.

* * *

***Author's Note Time WEEEEeeee* (Redbull)**

**Hi beautiful corn muffins of happiness! **

**Okay, first off thank yous!**

***ShutUpImSam***

***SecretlyAnOpportunist***

**And my lovely beta-reader: JustGoogleIt :)**

**Thank you so much you guys for following my FIRST EVER DANISNOTONFIRE fanfic. I'm about almost half-way done and I'm completely done with the ending, so hopefully I just need to fill in the middle part and get you to the BAM! In yo' face ending. **

**Which get's me thinking: Is it weird that I write the ending to EVERY STORY I'VE EVER THOUGHT OF EVER before I even TYPE UP the words****_ Chapter One_****? It's okay, you can be brutally honest in the comments. I literally have the last six chapters of this whole story done and I'm only on chapter...8? So, yeah. Hopefully this story won't be Stephen King long. Teehee. O_o**

_***A couple of *semi-serious* questions for my lovely readers time!***_

**Speculations?**

**Do you think Dan and Lia will get together?**

**Will Phil get in the way? **

**Will Lia's emotional detachment to ****_everything_**** get in the way? **

**What about Dan? I mean sheesh, dude. Back the fuck off, right?**

**What do you want to see happen?**

**Does it tickle your loins at the thought of Dan and Lia? **

**Or does it make you want to vomit split pea soup?**

***Random facts time!***

**~This portion has generally nothing to do with anything, I just thought I'd share~**

_**5 Random facts you may or may not know about Danisnotonfire (I Googled it! I'm not a stalker, I swear!)**_

**1) His birthday is June 11th and he shares it with Gene Wilder, Ryan Dunn, and Shia LaBeouf and Hugh Laurie.**

**2)He was elected Sugarscape Hottest Lad of 2012. **

**3)In May 2013 Dan and Phil (His half man-child, half lion roommate AKA AmazingPhil) recieved a Sony Golden Headphones Award for the UK's favourite Radio Presenters. **

**4)Dan is also well-known for his ongoing affair with English celebrity and cook, Delia Smith.**

**5) His pant size is a 9 in American women's sized skinny jeans, for the thought of wearing regular men's pants that actually covered his bum is offensive to his religion (First Church of Procrastination)**

**Know any other weird (stalkerish) facts about Dan? Any rants or reviews? Do you want to throw virtual tomatoes at me? How about speculations? Would you eat placenta if Dan asked you? What are your thoughts on key lime pie? Pecan pie? Do you think Lia's a bitch? Did that last sentence offend you because she's handicapped? What are your thoughts on Dan's hobbit hair? Do you think that Phil looks like one of the Beatles? What is your favorite Danisnotonfire video? **

**Inquiring minds want to know!**

**LET ME KNOW BELOW! :D**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Dan

"Well, are you going to explain?" Phil attacked like a starving wolf on a lame deer when I crossed the threshold of the door. I looked up at him and then back down at my shoes. There was nothing to explain. She was a girl that was lost. I was a boy who was lost. It was the blind leading the blind. Literally.

"I accidently knocked her down on the sidewalk and broke her cane. So, I helped her out." I shrugged.

Phil flopped on the couch. "Well, my video's done. You wanna watch Game of Thrones or something?"

I shook my head. "I think I'm just gonna go to bed." I went to my room and sat down at my computer. Usually I could spend hours on Tumblr or Youtube or whatever. But, tonight nothing interested me. Well, except for her. But, that was a whole other story.

I just hoped she was alright. I mean, her roommate sounded like a piece of work. I hope she gets some sleep tonight.

I checked my phone every five minutes to see if she had texted or called. Nothing. I tossed around in my bed, but I couldn't sleep either. I finally got up and went to the kitchen for some water. When I got to the kitchen, I decided that I didn't need water, I needed air.

It was late. Phil was already in bed or on his computer or something. I got dressed and slowly let myself out of our flat. I walked down the street and turned. I knew where I was going, but I was still trying to convince myself it was just a walk, that I just needed air.

_Why lie to yourself, Dan?_

The streetlights casted an eerie glow on the pavement as I continued walking and I looked at every person I passed. Most were in a big hurry to get somewhere. Home, probably. Some were busy trying to text and walk at the same time. I passed a group of drunken teenagers daring each other to do stupid things for more alcohol. I passed an elderly couple talking about the Thai place they just ate at.

I looked up and saw Lia's building. It was dull grey and long windows. The gate was shut, but that was alright. Just standing outside her building made me feel better. I wondered what floor she lived on or if she had a view of the street. Oh, wait. I facepalmed. _You're a fucking moron, Dan._

"'Ello?" I looked down at a girl with long blonde hair and a shirt that showed WAY too much skin. "Can I help you?" Her accent was thicker than mine that was for certain.

"I'm just…" I looked back up. "You wouldn't happen to know Lia, would you?"

"She's my flatmate." She smiled and tossed her hair over her shoulder in what seemed to be an attempt at flirting. But, what I got from Lia, she was the lush that like to trip my poor blind friend with her stuff. My stomach turned in disgust.

"Can I see her?"

"I think she's asleep honestly. What's your name?"

"Dan." I sighed and looked at my shoes. Although it disappointed me, I'm glad she was getting some rest.

"Well, tomorrow's Saturday, right?" She threw her weight on one hip.

"Yeah?"

"She likes going down to the Royal Opera House on Saturdays to listen to the orchestra warm up." She rolled her eyes. "She's so odd."

The Opera House? I imagined Lia sitting in the empty theatre listening to the piano. How perfect would that be?

"Thank you so much." I smiled at her roommate. I had better regards for her now.

I walked, well, more like skipped back to the flat. I wondered how I was going to surprise her. I just didn't want to show up at the same time; that would be too obvious, and honestly stalker-ish. Maybe along the way, in the street? But then I remembered how our first bump-in on the pavement was and I think it was mutual agreement that series of events should _not_ be repeated. My poor phone wouldn't be able to take any more abuse from Lia's face.

I threw on a jumper and a pair of sweatpants and hopped on the computer. Maybe I could bring Phil and make it seem like it was his idea. He needed some culture in his life and we hadn't been to the Opera House since we've moved to London.

I went to bed with a smile on my face.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Lia

I sat at our postage-stamp of a kitchen counter, flipping through my Scottish Braille Press version of the London Metro newspaper. Eggs sat boiling on the stove behind me and when the toast popped, I threw it on a paper plate.

I heard the familiar noise of Sam's wake up routine which consisted of moaning, vomiting, cursing loudly, and then finally crashing through the door to the kitchen for her aspirin and coffee.

"'ey, there. Is there any more of that coffee left?" I heard her fata ss hit the bar-stool.

"We're out of coffee." I shrugged, and flipped to the Lifestyle section.

"We're out of fuckin' coffee?" She groaned and got up and went to the fridge. "We're outta e'vrythin'" I heard her digging around.

I shrugged again, nonchalant. "You should go shopping. Did you find anything?"

"Yeah, wine."

"Seriously? It's 8 in the morning. Can you at least have breakfast first?"

"Piss off." Her ass squished back on the bar-stool.

"You're a bitch." I said and poured myself a cup of tea. Sam was something else. She never did any chores and the place always smelt like Chanel No. 5 and sex. She would have random guys go in and out at random times of the night and she never made it home before two am. She was always telling me that I should go out more and critiquing my wardrobe. (Like I cared. I all but forgot what the color purple looked like, never mind how a dress looked on me) But, without her, I would be homeless, so it was something.

"So, who's the chap with the dark hair?"

I took a methodical sip of tea. I knew who she was talking about. Hell, he was the first and _only_ person I've talked to since I've gotten here besides Sam.

"He's a friend." I shrugged and started reading a story on this lady from Dublin and her award winning blueberry biscuits.

"He didn't seem like a 'friend' the way he was 'angin' around 'ere last night."

"What?" I stopped reading mid-sentence, my reading hand flying to my throat in surprise."

"Yeah. He was starin' up at the buildin' like a lost puppy-dog. I think our Emilia has an admirer." I could hear the mockery in her voice.

I took the eggs off the stove, not really hungry anymore. I didn't know if I should be happy or scared. I mean, _I literally just met him._ But, at the same time, it thrilled me knowing he came back, knowing that he was thinking about me.

"Was he_ attractive_?"

"You mean, like what did he look like?"

I nodded, leaning over the countertop on my elbows.

"He was cute." I could hear the shrug in her voice. "A bit skinny though. Nice eyes. He had that hair." She made a line diagonally across my forehead with her finger.

I had been blind for so long now, that it was hard to conjure up colors and features from stark imagination anymore. But, thankfully, Sam knew this and kept the description short for my benefit. Well, also, she had the attention-span of an opossum with ADHD and conversations could turn from "He's cute." to "You should have seen this wanker on this guy I was blowing last night!"

I got up and sighed. "I think I'm going to go the Opera House now."

"You're so weird. Why don't you do anything normal for once?" She followed me to the landing where I was putting on my shoes and getting my _spare _cane. The cane Dan bent was unfixable and had to be thrown out with the rubbish. This was my old plastic one. It felt so light and odd in my hand. "'ey, look. April, you remember April, right? Yeah, anyway, April is having a birthday party tomorrow night and you should come."

I finished putting on my shoes and got up. "We'll see."

"You're so fuckin' weird, you know that?"

"Bitch."

"Prude."

"Skank." I stuck my tongue out at her and walked out the door to the elevator, unlocking it with my key. The Opera House was three and half blocks from our apartment. That was 2673 steps from my front door, three houses, two convenience stores and a floral shop and there were 23 stairs to get up to the front door.

I walked the familiar path to the Opera House, said hello the Henry, the janitor, and took my usual seat four rows back from the orchestra.

I sighed, getting settled into the soft, velvet seat when the orchestra started. They were playing _Phantom of the Opera_ today and the haunting opening of the organ piece filled the auditorium. The singer playing Christine started in with her beautiful soprano voice. _In sleep, he sang to me. In dreams he came…_

I closed my eyes and imagined Dan. I wasn't one for angsty romances, especially one like _Phantom's_, where Christine was basically held against her will by the psycho genius with a nasty complexion. But, there was something about Dan, the way he just _cared_, that got me. It was such a foreign feeling and, if it was anyone else, honestly, I would hate him for it. There was just something about him that I couldn't put my finger on.

My thoughts wandered to what his roommate said to Dan. Videos. What videos? Why did Dan interrupt Phil? What was he hiding? My hand clamped over my mouth at a thought.

_Porn._

"Hello, there."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Dan

The next morning I sat with precariously placed pamphlet of the Royal Opera House in Phil's favorite cereal spot on the counter. I had woken up early, showered and was dressed and couldn't stop thinking about seeing Lia.

"What's this?" Phil came out with his hair sticking on end and his pajama bottoms falling off his thin frame slightly. He pulled out his favorite box of cereal and some milk.

"I got that in the mail." I tried to sound as cool and relaxed as possible, even though there was an American Fourth of July fireworks show going off in my chest. "I was wondering if you, maybe, perhaps would like to go today."

"To the Opera?" Phil shrugged. "What's playing?" He stuffed some cereal into his mouth while he flipped through the pamphlet.

"Phantom of the Opera. But, if we do go, can we go a little early?"

He shot me a look like _What are you up to?_ "Why?"

"I…want to meet the piano player."

"This isn't about that blind girl, is it?"

I jumped from my seat at the counter. "No! I mean, kind of, I mean. Well…" I scratched my head. _Congratulations Dan for being the biggest moron you know._

"Since last night, you've been acting so weird. You _never_ act weird with girls. Actually, you never act anything with girls, because you haven't been with a girl since college."

I winced. But, I couldn't explain it to Phil. He wouldn't understand what I was going through. From her personality to that song. _That song._ _Omygod. That song._ I almost cried just thinking about it.

"I just…really like her is all."

He snorted. "And, if everything works out, what's going to happen?" He sat down on the couch and opened his laptop. "She's going to go back to America, you're going to stay here."

"She doesn't have to go back to America."

"Okay, say you get her to fall madly in love with you and she decides to leave her whole life for England. What's going to happen?" He arched his back up. "Dan, is this water boiling? I can't see it. Dan, where are the stairs? I'm blind. Dan, how to do get to so-and-so? Dan, don't watch that tv-show-that-happens-to-your-favorite-ever." He mocked in a high-pitched American accent "Why, dear?" He switched to my voice. "Well, because I can't have fun. Dan, stop making videos and do something that we both can enjoy."

"That's not fair." I said, getting angry. "You don't know her."

"You don't either." He argued. "So, I don't know why you're so hung up on her."

"You're impossible." I said, thrusting on my shoes and heading for the door.

"Have fun at the _Opera House_." He said and switched on Buffy.

I stomped out the door and down the street towards the Opera House. Fuming. I was fuming. I don't think I've ever gotten this pissed off at Phil before. _Why?_

I did like Lia. I liked her a lot. She captivated me. But, Phil was right. Our relationship was a day old. I shouldn't be this emotional over someone I just met. I just was.

I found Lia in the Opera House sitting four rows back. She was wearing a tweed, plaid skirt and a simple blouse, her hair was thrown over one shoulder and she had one hand covering her mouth, like she was just told a juicy secret that could ruin someone's existence or something.

"Hello there." I said quietly as not to disturbed the orchestra and sat down next to her. I must've startled her because she jumped in her seat.

"Dan?"

"Yep." The seats were red velvet and you sank into them when you sat down.

"How did you find me here?" She whispered.

"I ran into your roommate last night. She told me that you liked to listen to the orchestra on Saturdays." I wondered if that sounded as stalker-ish to her as it did to me. "And honestly, I needed some air."

"Troubles with your girlfriend?" She smiled wickedly.

"Sort of."

She found my arm and patted it. "Well, I'm the perfect shoulder to cry on."

"I'll keep that in mind." I didn't want to tell her that my 'troubles' were about Phil throwing my feelings for her back in my face.

Her hand travelled up my arm, past my shoulder, to my face, where she rubbed it gently with her thumb. "Well, that's a good sign."

What the actual fuck? "Huh?"

"I was making sure you're not the Opera Ghost." She motioned to the stage. "So you won't kidnap me and keep me hostage to smother your own insecurities."

I laughed…nervously. "Well, I'm not."

"Well, what are you then?" She cocked her head.

"I'm…Dan."

"And…?"

I gulped a little. She had me cornered, that little shit. I smiled though at the response I thought up. At least I wasn't a total moron all the time. "And…I want to take Lia Everwood to lunch."

Her eyebrows rose. "Really?"

"Really." I smiled goofily at her. Oh, how unattractive I was.

"Okay, then let's go." She smiled and stood up. We walked arm in arm to a small café down the street. It had cracks in the ceiling and the chairs were all mismatched, but it smelled like baking bread and heaven. We took a seat by the window.

"I'm kind of glad that you found me." She smiled down at her tea. She looked so pretty with the sunlight bouncing off her curls. I wanted to touch her, but I controlled myself.

"Why is that?"

"You're my only friend." She turned her face towards the window. "Like, ever. I mean, Sam's my friend when it suits her and she treats me kind of like this burden that's been thrust upon her. Like, she's doing my aunt a big fucking favor by letting me stay at her place. But, with you it's kind of unconditional, because we're total strangers who just happen to meet."

My heart broke for her a little. I mean, she didn't have to go through that. Nobody should have to go through that. Me being her only friend, it caused feelings, but it also kind of filled me with secret glee as I knew now that there was nobody waiting on her back in California. Which made me a horrible, selfish person who was condemned to hell, I know.

"You know, I'm not that hungry anymore." I said, looking down at the menu.

She smiled easily. "Well, good thing, because I was about to say thing same thing."

"You want to go on an adventure with me?"

Her eyebrows rose. "Is this like a _Kill Bill_ adventure where I might die or is this like a _My Little Pony_ adventure, where we end up hugging at the end?"

I almost fell out of my chair at that question. She knew _Kill Bill._ I could've kissed her on the spot, I was so in love with her right then. I mean, I knew just because she was blind, doesn't mean she couldn't enjoy movies. But, that particular one? _Please Lord Jesus or Delia Smith, let her like YouTube._ I silently prayed.

"Most definitely Kill Bill." I nodded, regaining my cool.

Her wide eyes lit up. "Oh good! Let's blow this popsicle stand then!"

We hurried down the street. I was amazed at how well Lia got around with her cane. She swung it back and forth like a radar in front of her. It never missed anything; she knew exactly where to go and what it was when it came into contact with something. She never bumped into anybody. Well, nobody bumped into _her_. They gave her a wide girth when they noticed she was blind.

I whipped out my phone to answer a text when a hand jerked me back onto the pavement. All of a sudden a motorbike came whizzing around the corner. It was so close, the velocity of the wind mess up my hair. I looked at Lia, who still had her hand on my arm. "How did you know that was coming?"

She stomped the ground with her foot. "I can feel the vibrations from the engines in my feet if my shoes are light enough. You sighted people never pay much attention because you rely on your eyes too much and not enough on your other senses."

I watched the motorbike scream out of sight. "I guess so."

We walked across the street and down an alley of shops. We were giggling about absolutely nothing and making fun of everything. In a non-offensive, sarcastic way of course, at least on my part.

"You know what I don't get?" She started.

"What's that?"

"England is in Europe, right? You have Italian food, which is yummy and you have German food and you have Greek food and you even have French cuisine. Why is it that the English never learned how to cook?" She smiled mischievously up at me.

"Hey! We know how to cook!"

"Boiling something until it resembles baby vomit does not count as cooking, Daniel." I loved the way she said my full name like that. She was the only one that did it too. Even my own mum called me Dan.

"That's not true though! We have fish and-,"

"Shh!" She stopped dead in her tracks. "Do you hear that?"

I cocked my head to the side, but all I could hear was the dull roar of the London pedestrians around us. "No, what is it?"

"Piano!" She yelled giddily, her blue eyes flashing. I don't think I've ever seen her this happy before. She found my hand and pulled me into the small storefront. Laid before us were the most pianos I've ever seen in one place before. There were grands and baby grands and uprights and keyboards and organs and everything else in between. It was a pianist's dream.

There was an elderly couple sitting in the back of the room at the counter. The husband was busy banging out a simple melody and the wife came up to us. She kind of looked like something out of the _Blair Witch Project_, but who was I to judge?

"Is there anything I can help you find?" She asked slowly.

I watched Lia's dark curls bounce as she touched the keys of the pianos. "Can you show me where a grand is? I'm not looking to buy, I just want to marvel."

The lady smiled pleasantly when she noticed Lia's cane. "Oh, yes. I have one here. I have a niece who's blind. She was born blind though."

"I lost my vision when I was twelve." Lia answered curtly and sat down at the grand. I came over and silently took a seat next to Lia.

She was so guarded. Like that song yesterday. She put everything she had into that song, but when I asked her about it, she all but left me in the street. I wondered what had happened to her to make her so emotionally shielded all the time.

She started playing the intro to _Heart and Soul_. I recognized that song instantly because my piano teacher drilled me every lesson on _Heart and Soul_. I took it as the Nazi Song of Doom and Hatred. But, it was different coming from Lia. She made it sound so beautiful. I took poise and started the melody next her. Her eyebrows rose in surprise at me, but she didn't miss a beat. Her hands went faster and the harmony got more complex, so I took both hands and matched the melody to do the same. Soon she was smiling and giggling as we played through the song, ending it with applause from the elderly couple in the back.

"That was marvelous, you both are so talented!"

"No. She is the one that has talent." I looked at Lia.

"I didn't know you could play like that!" She punched me gently in the arm. "You should have told me."

"It didn't come up!"

We thanked the elderly couple and left the store in a fit of laughter and fun.

And with me, adoration.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Lia

I followed Dan, who apparently had "this perfect place for adventures," down the street. Dan must've been taller than what I imagined, because he took long strides that made me double-time my steps to keep up with him, which made my less careful with my cane. So, when I bumped into what I felt as I newspaper stand, I made Dan slow down for me.

"I'm sorry." He apologized as I linked my arm with his. He was warm and soft and smelled faintly of soap.

"You don't have to apologize." I have to say: this was definitely me in rare form. Usually I'm a roaring fire breathing demon-dragon who gives no fucks. I wasn't sure why, but Dan made me want to be nice. I guess it was his innocence and genuine happiness that brought out the _nice_ in me. I tucked my roaring fire breathing demon-dragon who gives no fucks back in his hole for use at a later time.

We kept walking and walking and soon we were at I guessed to be a park, because the pavement ended on both side with grass and I could hear the dull screeches of children up ahead. Soon my feet were tapping on wood and Dan had stopped at a wooden railing.

"This is literally my favorite place in this park."

"What is it?" I touched the rough wood.

"A bridge." He I could hear the smile in his voice. "Over a creek. I mean, I bet the creek is man-made because it's London and all. But, you know, you could pretend to be in the middle of an enchanted wood or something."

I leaned far over the bridge so I could hear the water and he was right, there it was: a small trickle of a creek. I hadn't heard water like that since California, when I would go up to Big Bear with my aunt. It made me kind of homesick. I leaned back up. "It's beautiful."

"I'm glad you think so."

We lapsed in comfortable silence, listening to the water, when Dan finally cleared his voice. "I have a question, but promise me you won't get mad."

What did he want? "Okay…?"

"What was that song about? The one you played for the audition? I mean, you can tell me. I promise to keep it a secret."

My head felt dizzy. Memories came rushing back. How she went from saying one word to me to nothing. How she shook me and told me to open my eyes while I cried that I couldn't. The pop of the gun, the screaming, the ambulance. Everything. I touched my head, turned around and started walking.

This was a mistake. I shouldn't have left myself vulnerable like that. Dan may be nice and sweet, but he'll never understand. No one will ever understand. And if he did, he would disappear like my mother did. Like they all do. Nothing in life is permanent and love is the most fleeting, I knew that from experience.

"Lia, wait. Please, I'm sorry." He jogged up to me. But, I kept walking. I could feel the demon-dragon stirring inside me. I could feel the anger in my chest and the hurting and the pain. "Please, I won't ask again. Please stop."

"No. Go home, Dan." I said as controlled as I could.

I found the curb and whistled for a cab, holding my hand out. This cab couldn't come fast enough.

"Lia, please. I'm so sorry." He begged.

"No you aren't."

This caught him off guard. "What do you mean?"

"Nobody ever is. If you were sorry, then you wouldn't have asked in the first place."

"Lia, but…"

"Leave me alone. You don't know me."

"I'm-,"

"Leave me the fuck alone!" I shouted, probably causing bystanders to stare at us. I don't care. The dragon reared its ugly head. The cab pulled up and I got in and Dan didn't say another word.

I came home and kicked off my shoes on the landing, sighing on the couch. I could hear Sam playing her dreaded techno music in the other room and knew she was getting ready for her usual night out. She came out; I could hear her toothbrush scraping over her teeth.

"Are you going out tonight?"

She snorted. "When do I not go out? Yeah, April is starting her party one night early. I'd thought I'd drop in."

"Can I come with?"

I could hear the shock in her voice. "Really?"

_You don't understand what kind of day I've had._ "Yeah, really."

"'ight. We'll leave at eight then. Do you want to borrow some of my clothes?" She said through brushing her teeth.

"I'd thought I'd wear this." I motioned at my skirt.

She snorted. "You can't wear that."

"Why not?"

"Because you look like a fuckin' cunt! Or a librarian. I can't decide which." She sighed. "Come with me." I followed her to her bedroom with as much enthusiasm as a death-row inmate marching towards the electric chair.

"Put this on." A piece of silky fabric hit my face.

"This feels like underwear."

"It's not fuckin' knickers. It's a dress. Now, put it on or I'm not taking you."

I sighed heavily. I might as well humor her. I slipped out of my regular clothes and put on this skintight dress/shirt thing that barely covered my ass. "I'm pretty positive this isn't a dress."

"It's a dress. It says so on the label. Now, come here so I can do your make up."

"No." I said firmly. "You're going to paint me like fucking Ronald McDonald, I just know it."

"Fine. Whatever. Go as plain-Jane librarian cunt. I don't give a fuck." She sniffed.

At 8:11, precisely, we left the house and started walking down the street. I made sure to at least put on a sweater over this sad attempt at a dress before we left. April lived in a posh flat above Buckingham, apparently, so we had to take the Underground up to where she lived.

The house was crowded and it smelled like spilt beer and stripper glitter. I immediately regretted my decision for coming, but instead of bolting, I decided to make the best of it. April (or the person I presumed was April) had come up to us. "Oh, so nice of you to show, Samantha!" She crooned with a posh put-on on top of her regular English accent.

"This is my flat-mate, Emilia." I'm not sure why she used my full first name. She never used it at home. I guess it was the high caused by inhaling stripper glitter and posh.

A drink was put in my hand and I was formally ditched by April and Sam_antha_. I folded up my cane and looped the strap through my wrist. I made my way around the crowded bodies. Techno music in a language I guessed was either Swahili or French boomed from speakers coming at the opposite end of the room. I made my way to an empty wing-chair and sat down. It was safe sitting down. I wouldn't bump into anyone and get beer spilled on my dress/shirt.

I sipped the drink that was handed to me. It was Gin and Tonic and it burned like Satan's piss. But, I drank it anyway.

"Would the lady like another?" A deep male voice said. For a moment I thought it was Dan and my heart skipped as I remembered how I treated him in the park. But, it wasn't Dan. This accent was different, Scottish almost.

My empty cup was taken out of my hand and another was put it. I took a sip and tasted vodka.

"Now that your drink is refreshed, can I get your name?"

"I don't think I'm drunk enough to tell you that yet." I said aloofly.

"Well, we should fix that then." He chuckled. "My name is Francis."

I imagined Francis to be a redhead, with a strong build to match his deep voice. He oozed sophistication. He wasn't anything like Dan, which was perfect, because it took my mind off of him. We walked over the weather and some international politics, when Francis got me another drink and sat back down.

"Do you know April?"

I took a sip. This one was tasted sweet like licorice."No. But, my friend does and she brought me along."

"Who is your friend?"

I pointed in the general direction of her voice and took another sip. It went down so smooth. I downed my drink in two gulps. "Sam_antha_." I put on April's fake posh voice.

He chuckled. "Care for another?"

"Can I get another one of these?" I pointed to my cup.

"Jaeger?" He chuckled again. "Yes, I can get you another one of those."

I actually had three more and a beer. This was the drunkest I think I ever got. My head was moving back and forth or though it seemed and I think I was talking louder, so I started to whisper and everything got really funny all of a sudden and then, before I knew it, I was telling this Francis guy about Dan and then I started crying because I didn't want Dan to leave me alone. I just didn't want him asking questions about my mother, which he didn't, he asked questions about the _song_ about my mother. But, then I got really happy again when Francis told me he was going to take me home.

"R'lly?" I slurred. "You don't, can't have to do that." I almost fell forward and he caught me.

"Sure. Follow me." He grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me through the door. The cool air bit the skin under my dress/skirt and I shivered. "C-c-cold." I muttered.

"I know." He said and started pulling me along.

"Where we going? My apartment iss dat way." I stumbled against him and giggled.

"You'll see." He pulled me along with more strength than I was ready for, almost making me lose my balance and tumble on the sidewalk. We were walking and then suddenly he jerked me to the side and pushed me up against a wall.

My sober brain's alarm system went off and I started panicking. _What the fuck was going on?_ I tried to fight him off, but apparently, my drunk brain was still hooked up to my motor skills and he quickly overpowered me. His steely grip held me at my throat.

"I don't have any money." I choked.

"I don't want money." His hand started trailing up my too-short dress and were pawing at my panties. Tears flooded hot on my face.

"Please. Stop. Please." I begged.

All of a sudden an ice cold piece of metal was biting into the skin at my neck, replacing his hot hand. I squeaked in fright. "Please." I begged and cried, too drunk to scream for help.

"No." He answered curtly and started kneading one of my boobs like tough dough. I let out a cry of pain and he shushed me by pushing the blade up against my throat.

My sober brain decided to have a moment of genius and intelligence and I remembered my cane hanging around my wrist. I clicked the button and let it open, and then with all the strength of a twenty-two year old, 5 foot 2 inches, 113 pound, drunk, blind girl could muster, I hit him against the head with it and when I felt him take the blade off my neck, I ran as fast as I could go down the alley, I turned in a random direction and ran as fast as I could go down the middle of the street. I thanked the Lord Jesus, Buddha and Oprah that I wore flats instead of heels.

I didn't stop until I was certain he wasn't following me. I found my way to the pavement and then doubled over, throwing up my three Jaegers and a beer.

"Are you alright, Miss?" A man said.

I couldn't answer him. I was too scared to speak and too drunk to think. I just rocked back and forth before I stumbled and got caught by this man.

"You don't happen to have any aspirin, do you?" I managed to ask. He pulled me into what I think was a shop because I heard the classic 'ding ding' of a store bell on his door.

He sat me on a bar stool and handed me a cup of water. I leaned my head on the bar.

"Do you have anyone to call?"

No. She was at the party getting drunk. I didn't have any money anyway to pay for a collect call. I reached into the pocket of my sweater and pulled out the only thing that was in there. A slip of paper.

It felt it between my fingers. It was Dan's number from the other day. I started crying again at the thought of me treating him like I did. He didn't deserve it. He really didn't. I doubt he will help me now, but I at least could try.

"Can you dial the number on this paper please?"

* * *

**This is kind of out of character for me, but I do want to address something. My regular author's note will be on the next chapter. ^_^**

**I got this review earlier and I wanted to share and respond to it, but because you reviewed as a guest, I can't actually respond to it in the review section. Capishe? **

"Talie:I love your fanfic and how regularly you update it, it makes a nice  
change but i kinda hate the way you portray phil, i mean its more realistic  
than some other fanfics but i can honestly never see him as someone who would  
be so prejudiced. To be honest i'm pretty sure Phil would be ridiculously  
clumsy, awkward and over the top to ensure that he wasn't prejudiced. You have  
captured Dan's character brilliantly but i tend to skip the sections with Phil  
in them because they make me depressed. Still it's your fan fiction and  
whatever you decide to write i'll keep reading, but if you could at least  
reconsider how you have displayed Phil that would be fantastic."

**First off, Talie, Thank you for the constructive criticism! You get a gold star and virtual cookie from me. In this biz having multiple pairs of eyes on one story really helps you figure out flaws and defects that you wouldn't have seen normally! I really, really, really appreciate it. I really do. Secondly, thank you for the compliment on Dan's character, as a fellow Danasaur, I assure you I try to be as realistic in character as possible. :)**

**Okay, now the Phil part. There are really only two things I can say that can without spoiling the whole story. The first is keep reading. Honestly. It does get better. I won't go into too much detail, but I can say, from my own personal style of writing, that I am VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY INTO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. With that being said, I grow my characters like I would my own children, nurture them, feed them conflict and resolution and then cry tears when they finally rebel and leave me in the climax. Even the canon characters.**

**Secondly, in Phil's defense, he's angry. He's had Dan ALL to himself for how many years now and now some random American, blind girl is going to captivate his attention, intrude in his space, and take away his best friend? It doesn't matter how cuddly and childish he is, he still has a right to get mad. Even Winnie the Pooh, with all his cuddliness and innocence, would get pissed at Piglet if Piglet started hooking up with a random Pigletta and leaving him in the dust. He has that right, even if he's known for his awkwardness and likeability. Phil had depth and I'm and sort of (kind of?) exploring that more than your regular run-o'-the-mill fanfic would.**

**So keep swimming through and reviewin' and readin'. I hope you enjoy! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Dan

I was asleep or at least that in between place of sleep and consciousness. I dreamed about Lia, the way she yelled at me like that. I dreamed about Phil, the way he mocked her. He was right. I didn't know her. I don't know why I was so hung up on her. I was bitter and hurt. I tried to clear my mind and started dreaming about me playing in Skyrim, except I actually was in Skyrim and I almost died from a hit from a giant. I ended up somehow (fast-travelling, I know it) back in Dawnstar at a tavern. I went up to that annoying person that's always singing and I asked him to play a song for me. What I wanted was Lia's song, but what I got strangely resembled my ringtone.

I startled awake, my phone screen blinding me. Marimba played joyfully at full blast. I didn't recognize the number and I had half a mind to hit the 'not now' button and go back to sleep, but I decided to answer it anyway.

"'ello?" I sounded so British when I was tired.

"Dan?" A shaky American voice said from the other line.

I bolted straight up, cupping my iPhone with both hands as not to disturb Phil across the way. "Lia is that you?"

"Dan. Can you please pick me up? I was mugged in an alleyway." She slurred on the other line.

_Mugged?_ "Are you drunk?"

"A little. Dan, please pick me up. Please. I'm so sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. Please." I heard her burst into tears.

I've never had anyone ask me to pick them up before. But it was _Lia._ I sighed, shaking my hair out of my face. She sounded like she really needed help.

"Where are you?"

I heard her pull away from the phone and ask someone where she was. "I'm at Waitrose on High Holborn."

"I'm on my way." I said.

"Thank you, Dan."

I hung up and threw on some jeans and sneakers and a sweater. I hailed a taxi, there were _plenty_ at this time of night and drove to where Lia was.

She was sitting at a counter in an old-timey drugstore complete with a bar. She had her head on the bar and had an untouched seltzer water sitting next to her. Sitting behind the bar was a man that had crawled from the Jurassic era and was staring at Lia contemplatively.

_Ding! Ding!_ Lia perked up at the sound of the doorbell and stumbled into my arms, I caught her before she hit the floor.

"I'm so sorry, Dan. I'm such an ugly person. I 'nderstand if you don't, can't forgive me." She slurred against my shoulder.

"I forgive you." I murmured. Any hard feelings about earlier, any bitterness I felt, was gone. She was lost and scared and drunk. And she smelled like the inside of a strip club. "Let's get you home."

I pulled her outside, giving a little half-salute to the prehistoric man behind the counter. He followed us out and immediately locked the door on our departure. I tried to keep her straight as I could as I pulled her into the cab. She pushed her hair out of her face and leaned against me.

We rode through the streets of London in silence and I thought she had passed out when she mumbled. "My mother."

"What?"

"You were asking about that song I sang." She drawled. "It's about my mother. I went blind when I was twelve from a rare case of meningitis. My dad left us and she went crazy and depressed. She stopped talking to me for a long time and then one night she woke me up and shook me and yelled at me and told me to see. When I told her I couldn't, she ate a gun." She put two fingers in her mouth to demonstrate. "And blew her brains out. It's all my fault because I got sick and she couldn't handle it, I couldn't fix her. That's what my song is about, my mother. I call it _The Lullaby_. That's why I don't have friends, Dan. Because nothing is forever in my life. Everything gets taken away from me. My dad, my mom, my sight. Everything. You'll leave me too. You'll figure out I'm not worth the time, like my dad and you'll leave. Poof. Just like that."

I bit back tears as I rubbed Lia's arm as she sighed against me. How could I let her know that I wasn't like that? That wasn't me. I didn't quit on friends. I wouldn't quit on her, of all people. We rode the rest of the way in silence.

I dragged her up to my apartment, all five stories, which was no easy to feat because 1) it was dark so it was the blind leading the blind and 2) she was drunk and her equilibrium was off. When I finally got her to my room, I put her on the bed and I pulled off the ridiculous bandage dress she was wearing in one movement and put her in one of my clean t-shirts.

I went and got two aspirins out of the cabinet, being as quiet as possible and got her to swallow both pills and drink some water. I had attended enough Uni parties to know that aspirin and water will help when she wakes up in the morning and then she lied down and went to sleep, just like that.

I watched for a little bit while she slept. She was lying on one side and had her fingers laced together prettily next to her face, her index finger hooked up on her pinkie. Her hands were so beautiful and delicate, lying like that. Knowing what they were used for, how they interpreted Lia's world around her made them that more fascinating. I reached out very gently and stroked the inside of her palm. Her fingers closed on reflex into a fist and then straightened back out.

I wasn't going anywhere. Fuck it. I was going to stay right here, so I could protect her and watch over her. She could leave whenever she wanted to, because she was free-spirited like that, but I wasn't going to leave. I would be right here when she returned. I could be her rock, if that's all she needed. Someone to cling on to when the storm got to be too much. I could do that much.

She deserved it for Chrissakes.

* * *

**Phew! That one was a doozy, huh? **

***Author's Note* (Cue dramatic music)**

**Well, hello my my sweet dolphins of destruction! I really hoped you liked those last couple of chapters. It was a mad storm while I was typing them out. I looked down at my computer and then all of a sudden I had a good four or five chapters done! **

**Well, time for the Thank Yous!**

***ShutUpImSam***

***SincerelyAnOpportunist* (I deeply apologize for getting your name wrong the last Author's Note. I will try not to be a vortex of stupid this time around)**

***beebee73***

***I'veMadeItMyOTP***

***Kaylieward***

***NightTimeSparkle* (HA! I GOT YOU IN AT THE LAST MOMENT! Wut, wut!)**

**Thank you all for following! And thank you random guests for creeping on my fanfic and leaving reviews! Really appreciate it! :)**

***Speculations Time! Weee!***

**What do you think is going to happen to Dan and Lia now?**

**How do you think Phil is going to take having Lia in their flat?**

**Where the fuck is Sam?**

**Do you think that creeper Francis will come back?**

**Do you think that Lia will get with Dan now that he knows her secrets?**

**Or will she push him away even more?**

**Here's the part where I give you random facts that may or may not be relevant to this story *YAYyyyyyyyyyyy!11*** -ironic number 1 use

***Here are five random facts about Dan's favorite animal: Llamas!***

**1)Llamas are members of the camelid, or camel, family. Camelids first appeared on the Central Plains of North America about 40 million years ago. About 3 million years ago, llamas' ancestors migrated to South America.**

**2) Llamas were first domesticated and used as pack animals 4,000 to 5,000 years ago by Indians in the Peruvian highlands.**

**3)Llamas weigh 280 to 450 pounds and can carry about a quarter of their body weight, so a 400-pound male llama can carry about 100 pounds on a trek of 10 to 12 miles with no problem.**

**4) Llamas live to be about 20 years old.**

**5)Llamas don't bite. They spit when they're agitated, but that's mostly at each other.**

**Do you have any other weird facts about llamas? Do you own a llama? Have you ever spit at someone while you're agitated? Do you have a funny story that you would like to share that involves spit or spitting? Do you think Lia will lighten up (spoiler alert: she doesn't) How do you feel about our global market trade system? Do you think that Prince William is ready to take the throne? How do you feel about red grapes? Do they make you mad? Do you have a stuffed animal you sleep with at night? Do you think Dan will ever pull up his pants? How do you think Phil would look if he all of a sudden went bald?**

**Let me know below! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Lia

Pain throbbed against my temples when I managed to wake myself up the next morning. I rolled over, caught in the hazy fog of hungover-sleepiness, and then realized that my quilt felt different. I reached over and tried to find my clock, my braille clock that I could feel. But I touched some smooth, rock-bowl thing and what seemed to be a whole bunch of Christmas lights. I bolted straight up in bed. This wasn't my room.

I touched my head where I could feel the headache settle in behind my eyes. Memories from last night flooded back, from the party, to the mugging/almost-rape thing, to Dan saving me, I groaned and rolled over my feet touching soft carpeting.

I noticed I wasn't wearing that dress anymore, but instead a large t-shirt. I padded through his room and found the door, letting myself out. I followed the smell of coffee around a corner and down a flight of stairs where my feet hit cool tile.

"You're awake!" Dan said gleefully.

I rubbed both my eyes, causing fireworks to show up in the darkness. "I'm awake." I said not as joyfully as Dan did.

"Well, I picked you up at one, so I think it's safe to give you more aspirin now." He grabbed my hand and led me over to a counter seat, a hot mug of coffee and two pills on a napkin were placed in front of me. I could hear bacon sizzle behind Dan. I downed the pills and half a cup of the coffee.

"I hope you're hungry." Dan said, his voice turned, so I guessed he had his back turned to me too. "I'm making an American favorite, well, anyone's favorite really. Bacon and eggs."

My stomach growled audibly as my response and we both giggled. I sipped my coffee and listened to Dan ramble on about a dream he had last night.

"So you were in a video game?"

"Yeah, and I was hit by a giant, I thought I was going to die, but I ended up at a tavern and-,"

An audible groan caught our attention.

"Really, Dan? You couldn't have gone to_ her_ apartment?"

"Well, Dan kind of saved me last night, I was almost mugged and-,"

"It's none of my business," He interrupted me. "And I'm sorry to say this, because I don't know you, but I really don't think you should be here right now."

"Well, actually _Phil,_" Dan had a warning tone. "Lia is going to be living with us for the rest of the time she is in England."

"She is?"

_I was?_

"She isn't. Come on, Dan. Tell me you're joking. A girl? Really? You didn't even ask me!" I imagined Phil standing there with steam coming out of his nostrils like a pissed off bull.

I turned to Dan. "That won't be necessary, really. I can stay with Sam."

"No. I insist, obviously living with Sam is hazardous to your health. You'll be safer with us."

"Dan, can I speak to you in private?" It was apparently said through gritted teeth, I heard both of them walk up the stairs and then I heard some muffled, aggressive arguing. I cocked my head and tried to listen in on their conversation, but their accents and the fact I was trying to listen through a wall made it impossible, even if I had bionic blind-ears.

The only thing I could tell about Phil was that he is a bubble-person. Bubble people are those that like their bubbles, their daily lives, their routine, their miniscule niche in the world. They liked things unextraordinary and predictable. Bubble people like adventure, but on _their _terms, in _their _own way. People don't start out as bubble-people, because as a child all you want to do is expand your horizons, but if you do something for too long, you figure out that any intrusion will pop your bubble. I was an intrusion to Phil's bubble. I understood that, I really did.

But, damn, he didn't have to be so fucking rude about it.

I tried listening in some more, but all I could hear was their conversation getting faster and angrier and louder and then Phil shouted. "WELL, IF SHE DOESN'T LEAVE, THEN I BLOODY WILL!" And then a door slammed and then silence.

"I'm really sorry about that." Dan said as he came back down the stairs. "Really, he just needs to get to know you, is all." He plated me up some bacon and eggs.

I shrugged. What Dan was doing was too much. Even if he insisted, I probably would just live with Sam, like the original arrangement anyway. I mean, I liked Dan a lot, but he was being way too nice to be at the sake of his roommate and I didn't want to cause waves. "I'm not going to stay." I announced.

"Why not?"

"Because even if 'Sam is hazardous to my health' it's way too much and obviously Phil doesn't like me and doesn't want me around. At least Sam tolerates me." I shrugged again and sipped my coffee.

Dan's hand grabbed one of mine. "He'll get over it. After what happened last night, I just want to make sure you're okay."

I put my eyes down. "Thank you for that, by the way. I wasn't sure if you were going to come after the way I had treated you."

He snorted. "Of course I would come. I told you I would, right? And I don't like to break promises. I mean, I might be the laziest person I know and I make procrastination an art, but I _do not_ break promises."

"Well, I guess I can trust you then." I smiled shyly at him. "I _did _tell you pretty much my whole life story last night in the back of that cab."

"I'm sorry that had happ-,"

I put my fingers on his lips and shushed him. "It's okay. You don't have to talk about it."

He nodded against my hand and I pulled my hand back. "Okay, I won't talk about it. So, when do you want to get your stuff?"

"Dan." I groaned.

"I'm serious!"

And like that, I had moved into this cute, sweet, English boy's flat.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Dan

Lia fit in to my life like feet that was trying on a pair of Vans for the first time: surprisingly comfortable and roomy and just plain sexy. Maybe that's a bad metaphor. I'll try again. Lia just kind of fit in like she had been there the entire time, like she was a fixture that just filled a place that I didn't even know existed until it was filled. For the next two weeks we had a routine: I would make her breakfast, she would sit with me while she would play video games or we would wander around London together, exploring little corners of this massive city. We would attend tourist-y type places like museums and Buckingham palace and historical sites that I had no interest in before I met her. I would introduce her to new foods like curry and Maltesers and she started giving me lessons on my old keyboard.

The only drawbacks were 1) Phil. Whenever Lia was in a room, Phil was not. He didn't want to leave, I could tell, and his threat to move out was an empty one. This was his home too, even though it was the battlefield for the American Invasion and 2) I had stopped making videos. It wasn't like I _wanted _to stop making videos. I was just distracted now that Lia seemed to be a permanent resident of the household. Her constant happiness had taken over all of my priorities.

"No, like this, silly." Lia banged out a couple of chords. She was teaching, well, trying to teach me the _Piano Thing_ from Muse's B-Side album, quoting it as "one of the most neurotic, horribly dysfunctional, beautiful piano pieces of this century." But, because there was no actual melody, it was hard to follow along.

She started to play more, getting ahead of me, so I stopped playing and just watched her. Lia was a gifted musician. She had one of those ears, where you could hum a couple notes and she could tell you exactly what note it was and what minor it was played it. If she didn't get a call from Royal House Records, they were nuts.

"I have a question, but promise you won't get offended." She said as she played.

"Shoot."

"When I first met Phil, he talked about videos. What did he mean?"

I could've lied. I could've said anything I wanted to. I wasn't sure why I was trying to keep Danisnotonfire a secret, I just was. It was kind of like the little part of my life that was completely oblivious to her, but so public and known to everyone else. She knew I was a radio jockey for BBC 1 and she would listen in on Sundays, but that was about it.

I didn't want to lie, especially since we had established this level of trust and I already knew all of her deepest, darkest secrets. "I make vlogs…but, they're funny."

"Vlogs?" She continued playing. "Like, 'this is my boring life for your viewing pleasure' type thing?"

"Sort of, but it's mostly me talking about how much of a failure at life I am or complaining about something." I shrugged.

"Will you show me?" She stopped playing and turned to me. We went into the nerd-cave and I powered up YouTube. I prayed to God or Delia Smith that she wouldn't laugh me off the planet or something. I tried to find one that wouldn't be too offensive or over her head (she wasn't too fond of using the computer, even _after_ I tried setting her up with audio-output adaptation software).

We sat through the first minute and a half of 'Why I am an Awful Human Being' and I watched Lia. She had her head cocked to the side as her hair fell over one shoulder. Her face twisted around and then she burst into a fit of laughter and almost fell off the couch. I wanted to become a snail or a turtle or Micaulay Culkin and recede into my shell and never come out; I was so embarrassed at the moment.

"You hate it." I wailed and put my head on the desk.

"No!" She said suddenly. "It's perfect! It's just _so you_!" She got up off the couch and took the other desk chair getting closer to me. "Are you popular?"

"Well, it pays the rent, so I guess so."

"And Phil does this too?"

I clicked one of the 'Phil is Not on Fires' and we started watching one of those for demonstration. She cocked her head as he listened to Phil and I being complete imbeciles on camera. "He seems so _not angry at the world_ here." She said sullenly. "I can't believe I make him so different."

I watched a little more of Phil being his goofy, likeable self and then clicked it off. "He's just taking his time warming up to you."

"If you mean by 'warming up,'" she made quotation marks in the air with her fingers. "-then hating my entire existence, then yes, he is totally 'warming up.'"

"He just doesn't know you like I know you."

She blew air out of her nostrils. "I guess."

She got up and went to the kitchen. She had gotten really good at getting around my flat these past couple of weeks. She just ran the back of her hand against the wall to guide herself. "Hey, I'm serious." I said. "He just has to get to know you."

"He has to stop seeing me as the thing-that's-going-to-take-Dan-away." She huffed. "I'm a plague to him, you know it."

"No, you're not." I said firmly.

"If you say so." She rolled her wide eyes dramatically and started pulling the chair back at the dining room table to sit down.

I leaned down and kissed her suddenly. If you asked me why I did it, I couldn't tell you to be honest. I did it to shut her up, I did it because I knew she was right about Phil and I had been thinking about kissing her since I've met her.

I must have really surprised her because she didn't respond at first and then her hands found my shoulder and that spot between my neck and my ear and she started kissing back. I pushed her gently up against the kitchen counter and kissed her a bit harder, my hands all over her soft, delicate frame.

"Jesus Christ." Phil groaned.

Lia pulled away suddenly, all wide eyes and flushed cheeks. She kicked on her shoes all of a sudden and grabbed her cane and ran out of the door and down the stairs as fast as she could.

I turned to Phil, seething. What has gotten into you?"

"What has gotten into _you_?"

"You little-,"

"No! Listen to me!" He interrupted. "You bring this random girl to our flat, _our_ flat, not _your_ flat, Dan, our flat. You stop doing everything you normally do: make videos," he ticked off with his fingers, "Hanging out with your friends, whatever! You completely blow me off and random times for her and you act like at any time she's going to flip out and have like a mental breakdown or something. You're not you anymore, you're not thinking for yourself, all you care about is her."

I started getting on my shoes. "And now," He continued. "You're going to go after her."

"You're bloody right." I answered, slipping on my cardigan and grabbing one for her.

"Why, Dan? Why?"

"Because I love her." I looked up at Phil. I could see the hurt in his eyes, like a kicked puppy or something. "Look, I'm sorry, Phil. I really am, but if you only knew-,"

"Knew what? Nobody ever tells me anything anymore!"

"She's going to have to tell you when she's ready." I answered. "But, when you know, you'll understand."

With that I ran out the door into the London city.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Lia

I found a cemetery. It was a small one and most likely Catholic or Anglican, because of all the friggin' Jesus statues that I was bumping into. I didn't care though. I was just happy that I was out of the nightmare for a moment. Well, half a nightmare, the first part was something out of a dream. Nobody has ever kissed me like that before. I mean, I've had kisses with guys before, but it had never been as right as it felt being with Dan in his kitchen.

I sighed as I found one of those raised, cement graves and sat down, pulling my knees up to my chest. I liked Dan. I truly did. I wanted to be with him. He was the first person I ever felt comfortable with. He made me safe and secure and wanted. He confused the hell out of me too, with that kiss and all. But, I trusted him. I trusted that he knew what he was doing when it came to me.

Phil was a problem. I didn't want to be as open to Phil as I was with Dan. But, I knew it was the only way I could get through to him, and on the path to at least becoming friends. I wanted to get to know the Phil that was in the videos, all happiness and innocence.

"There you are." Dan bounded up to me, sounding out of breath.

"Here I am." I said and put my chin on my knees.

"I'm really sorry about that with Phil and all, he's just-,"

"Got to get to know me." I finished. "I know. I want to get to know him, too. But, not like this."

I could feel him sit down next to me, breathing heavy. He was so close, we were brushing arms and that thrilled me and scared me all at the same time.

"I'm sorry about that kiss too."

"I'm not." I turned my head and smiled at him. "I mean, I guess we could've been discreet about it or whatever, but I liked it."

"You did?" He sounded surprised.

"That I did." I found Dan's hand, lacing my fingers with his. "I like you, Dan. I really, really do. I wasn't sure at first, because I've never done this before, but I'm pretty certain now."

"I like you too." He said slowly.

I leaned against his shoulder, we sat there in the cemetery on some dead guy's grave in comfortable silence, listening to the birds chirp above us in the trees.

"Actually, I love you." Dan said. "I want nothing more to be with you."

I stroked my collarbone in surprise. "Really? That's kind of sudden, Dan."

He popped up back to his feet. "I have this theory, though. When I was in Uni, I was miserable because I was on a pathway to become something I didn't want to spend the rest of my life doing. When I finally understood nobody was forcing me to do anything and I have the power to choose my own course in life, I quit Uni and felt so much better and now I'm making a hell of a lot more money doing something I actually _really _like doing."

"But, what does that have to do-,"

He interrupted. "I came to the conclusion that life is short and I have to live it not to anyone else's standards, but my own. You-," He grabbed my face and kissed me again, I could tell he was excited. "You make me so happy and I want nothing more than to be with you. I'm in love with you and I'm not going to deny myself the truth because Phil or whoever doesn't like it. It's my life and your life and nobody else's and if we want to be together, why should we let anyone stop us?"

"Okay." I smiled down at the ground. "Then let's be together."

"I love you, Emilia Everwood." He put his forehead to mine and spoke softly. "And I will never leave you."

"Ever?" I closed my eyes and held him tight.

"Ever." He promised.

* * *

The next week was a blur of excitement and bliss. I mean, nothing really changed except Dan stopped sleeping on the couch and joined me in the bed. We wouldn't do anything. I told him I wanted to take that slow and he agreed. But, it was sweet and comfortable with his arms wrapped around me when we slept, our bodies entangled into one, while he kept the demons away that bothered me at night.

I started to slowly memorize everything about Dan, too. I couldn't get enough of him, really. I memorized those dimples that sat above his waistline on his back and the way his hair would flop over his ear and I would push it back and kiss that hollow spot there. I memorized the way his second toe was slightly longer than his big toe, when we would sit together on the couch. Everything. I wanted a clear picture of him in my mind when the time came.

"I think I'm going to invite some friends over tomorrow night." He announced while we were sprawled on the couch together watching (he was watching , I was listening) to _The Boondock Saints._ He chose movies for me, with a limited number of characters or at least characters that had different voices so I could enjoy the movie too. He also rearranged the flat for me for easier access to places and got rid of the Dreaded Ottoman of Doom and Despair that would get moved right in my pathway just so I could trip over it.

"Alright, baby." I murmured against his chest. I was trying to keep up with the dialogue, because apparently, this was some pivotal scene where Rocko goes into a diner and shoots the place up.

"I want to introduce my new girlfriend to my closest friends." He said half to himself. I had already met Carrie, who asked Dan why I was being held captive here and not out with her and PJ and Chris. Dan just answered sheepishly that he wanted me all to himself for a while. I felt him grab his phone and click out a text really fast. "Done. Now, if we can just get Phil to join. That's the hard part." He said.

I rolled my eyes. Phil still kept himself as aloof as possible, although he was adjusting a little bit to me moving in and by adjusting, I mean he amended the daily chore list on the fridge to include me on the daily chores (He even put it in braille for me) I would try to start conversations with him and he would answer with one syllable words and then retreat back into his room.

But, according to Dan, we were living for us and not for anyone else. I just didn't want Phil to feel as betrayed as others had betrayed me.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Dan

I went to Tesco with Lia the next day to pick out snacks for the party. She held my hand as we walked down the aisles, throwing crisps and dip and biscuits and whatnot into our basket. We had this sort of game going where she would wander down the aisle from me and pick up random food and hold it up for my inspection. If it was edible without cooking it, we would buy it.

"Can you eat this at a party?" She held up some taco seasoning.

"That's taco seasoning, love."

She sniffed the package. "Doesn't smell like taco seasoning. It smells like paper."

"What does paper smell like?"

"I don't know…paper." She shrugged.

"Miss." A small boy, maybe no older than three or four, started pulling on Lia's shirt. "Miss, is that a spear you're holding?" He was all freckles and red hair.

She bent down. "You bet it is."

"Why do you have a spear in Tesco?"

"You don't know about the broccoli monsters?" She asked all in fake surprise and horror.

The kid's widened and I tried to keep from laughing. "No."

"If you don't eat your broccoli, after a while they start to come alive and eat you! So you better eat your broccoli or you'll have to have to look silly carrying around a spear in Tesco."

"Will, come along dear." The boy was led off by his mother, he was still staring at Lia and her 'spear.' As soon as they were out of earshot, I burst out laughing. "You had that boy scared shitless."

"You can bet your sweet ass that he's going to eat his broccoli now." A mischievous,

crooked smile grew on Lia's face and I kissed her for it.

* * *

That night, Chris and Carrie showed up and then PJ showed up and I introduced them all to Lia. They all loved her from the beginning, especially when they figured out she had a sarcastic asshole-y sense of humor like I did.

"So, what do you think of Dan's internet career?" PJ asked, popping a crisp into his mouth.

Lia was holding my hand. "I'm not really one for the computer, but I think he's friggin' hilarious. Especially the one where you dressed up like gimp, PJ."

"Are you going to do a video together?" Carrie said as she leaned over the breakfast bar.

Lia's lips pursed, unable to answer. "Well, we talked about it." I answered for her. "But all the regular boyfriend-girlfriend tag stuff was too boring and we can't do the makeup thing because of obvious reasons."

"I proposed that I did his makeup." She smiled wickedly. "But he wasn't too thrilled with that idea."

"So, we'll probably do a viewer-based interview to introduce her."

"You're going to break a lot of fangirls hearts, Dan." Chris said. "Where you from, anyway, Lia?"

"California." She blushed.

"Oh, I love California!" Carrie cried. "I just was there!"

Lia started talking with Carrie and they were engrossed in conversation about Carrie's recent trip to America at the breakfast bar, so Chris and PJ and I started a game of Mario Kart on the Wii.

"Where's Phil?" Chris asked quietly.

"Phil and I…are having some domestic disputes." I hedged.

"What do you mean?"

"He hates Lia."

Chris paused the game really quick and looked over at my wonderful girlfriend sipping Coke and talking in depth about California beaches with Carrie. "That Lia?"

I nodded my head glumly. "That Lia."

"Man, you guys need to settle that. You're like the Wonder Twins of the internet!" PJ said as he threw mines at my character.

"I know and Lia feels like it's her fault. Like, she's intruding somehow. This is like my first love ever and he can't even be supporting of it." I put my chin on my fist.

Carrie excused herself to the restroom and I watched Lia go up the stairs. "Where are you going?" I asked.

"Be right back!" She hollered back down.

I got up and followed her, remembering I accidently left a box outside my door that I didn't want her to trip over, but she wasn't at my door, she was at Phil's, knocking.

"Phil?" She said and held her ear to the door. "Phil, please come out."

"I don't think he's in there." I said. "He might have slipped out while we were at Tesco."

She blew up one of her curls in frustration. "This is ending, right now." She went into our room, skipping over the box I had left, and started putting on her shoes and coat.

"Where are you going?"

"To find Phil."

"You have absolutely no idea where he is. He could be wandering the Underground or something."

"I'll find him." She kissed my cheek gently. "I'll bring him back. I promise."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Lia

Dan was right; I had no idea where to look. But, the other day when Dan was at the BBC, I sat down at his computer (operating the thing was kind of hard, because I had to figure how to switch the reading device on before I could maneuver the hell-box) and played every single one of Dan's videos and I was half-way through Phil's when they came home. I had concluded that Dan and Phil's personalities matched almost perfectly, with Dan being a bit more pessimistic and sarcastic. I knew Daniel. I knew him like the back of my hand. I knew where he would haunt if he was feeling sad, so I started there first.

I went through the music store and the immediate Underground and I went through the park. I must've tapped on a dozen shoulders asking if anyone had seen a tall, skinny guy in his early-twenties with black, side-swept hair. (spoiler alert: nobody had seen him)

Finally, I remembered this little hipster café that I overheard Phil talking to Dan about called '_That Place_.' I got directions and made my way to the dinky coffee-shop that smelled like sage and unrealistic ideals. I made my way up to the counter and gave my basic description of Phil to the barista behind the bar.

"Yeah, he's sitting over there in the corner."

"Where is over there?" I said, exasperated. In my attempt to make Dan happy, I was trying to be more patient with the sighted. At this point in time, the demon-dragon was putting up with no shits.

"Your left all the way in the back, to the right." The barista said. "My name is Seven, if you need anything else."

"Is that a metaphor?"

"What?"

"Your name?"

"Seven? No, it doesn't mean anything and I like it like that."

I sighed and followed his directions to the back of the café. I heard the scraping of a chair being pushed back.

"Phil, please sit down." I said, almost begging. "I just want to talk. Can we do that?"

He sighed and sat back down and I found the table and sat down across from him, my hands playing with the box of whatever that was on the table. "What's this?"

"It's a box of checkers." He said impassively.

"I don't want to talk about me." I said, pulling the lid off the box. "I'm not going to pull the blind sympathy card. But, there are a couple things that you have been left out on that I need you to understand." I pulled the board out and the little bag that held all the checker pieces.

"Okay." He said. I imagined him sitting there with his arms crossed, ready to bolt at any second.

"First off, you're Dan's best friend and he loves you and he also loves me, but we don't love each other and I think that should change. Have you ever played 'Blind Checkers'?"

"No." He said, keeping to his usual one or two syllable responses.

I started setting up the board. I had a hard time figuring out where the boxes were, so Phil pitched in to help, reluctantly.

"My mother came up with this game while I was still in the hospital." I smiled a little at the memory of us playing while I was still in bed, hooked up to antibiotic drips, not able to see. "Three days later, I came home to an empty house and a note saying that my dad was gone and he wasn't coming back."

"Oh?"

"Three months later, my mom wouldn't get out of bed. She was crazy, Phil. And depressed and suicidal. She had a blind daughter who couldn't get around the house without running into doors or tripping over furniture. Her husband was gone. Her whole life was in ruins. Close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Because you can't play unless you're blind. Close your eyes."

"Okay."

"Are they closed?"

"Yes."

"You're not lying to me?"

"No, if I lied, you'd tell Dan."

"Okay. Now give me your hand." He placed his wrist up in my palm. I placed his fingers on my first checker piece and moved it up "Your turn." I said and gave him my hand. He mimicked the move, placing my fingers on a piece and then moving it up. "Anyway, one night she decided to commit suicide with a gun. She was gone, just like that."

"I'm sorry, Lia, I wish I had-,"

"Shh. I'm not playing the sympathy card. We can apologize at the end." I moved his hand on a piece. To a bystander, it would look like we were talking with the dead on a Ouija board. "Her death was a metaphor to me, like my eyesight, or my dad."

"A metaphor?"

"Yeah. My life was like a Kansas tornado with nothing to cling to, no Oz, no red shoes, no happy endings. Just doom. I had no permanence. Everything to me was fleeting. This life was fleeting. I was going to live it and I was going to end it. There was no in between. Well, until I met Dan." He moved my piece.

"And?" I jumped one of his pieces.

"He showed me the in between. He showed me there was such a thing as luck and love and destiny. He taught me that my life was my own to live and there was no such thing as predetermination of destiny. You choose your own, like you chose to make videos and live in London and become roommates with Dan. In everything you had a choice, except when it came to me. I was thrusted upon you like an affliction. You had no choice with me and I'm sorry about that, I truly am. I want to be your friend, Phil and not only because I love Dan and he loves you, but because I think we could actually be amazing friends."

He was silent as he moved his piece and jumped it. "I want to be your friend too, Lia."

"But on your terms, correct?"

There was silence then he groaned. "I'm sorry, I was nodding my head."

I giggled a little. "It's okay. People do it a lot, actually."

"Lia, I don't hate you. I just…" He stopped mid-move and took his hand off of mine. "I just didn't know how to deal with you. All of a sudden you weren't there and then you were there and then you just kind kept being there. Dan hasn't had a girlfriend since I've lived with him. It's just odd having you around. He turned into like this plaything that I didn't want to share with anyone. I want to be your friend, I do. Can I apologize about your mother now?" He asked shyly and I nodded my head. "I'm really sorry about your mother and I thought all these really horrible thoughts about you and I'm really sorry about that too and I'm really sorry I've been downright awful to you. I mean, it is truly easier being someone's friend than it is their enemy and can we just hug and make up now?" He said in one big rush that left him breathless.

"I don't want anything more." I said. He and I got up and gave each other big squeezes.

We walked out of the _That Place_ with our arms wrapped around each other's waists. It was really late now, so there weren't any people on the streets.

"You're not allowed to girlify the place, though." He instructed.

"Phil, I can't see. Interior decorating is way far down on the List of Things That I'm Good At."

He giggled at me. "Can you play video games?"

"I like the Wii, if I have someone going, 'hit left!' 'hit right!' and so on."

"Do you want to be in my next video?" He clapped his hands. "We can figure out how to play a blind game or something?! Oh, wait that sounded really horrible, um…"

"Sure, but I promised Dan I'd be in his too."

"We can do a Phil is Not on Fire featuring Lia!"

I giggled a little at him. "We'll see."

"That's a bad saying for you, you know."

"We'll see?"

"Yeah."

"I like it."

"Why?"

"Because I can't see, so it usually literally means no for me. But, I'm trying to be kinder to sighted people, so I guess we will genuinely see, huh?"

I walked the rest of the way to the flat with my new found friend.

* * *

**Oh my goodness! It's that time again! *Bah dum dum* Author's Note!**

**Thank you, Thank you, Thank you:**

***ShutUpImSam**

***SincerelyAnOpportunist**

***tillymeehan**

***beebee73**

***I'veMadeItMyOTP**

***Kaylieward**

***NightTimeSparkle**

***Plingulill**

**And everyone who has reviewed, guests or not. :)**

**Well, what do you guys think about that chapter, huh? I told you Phil would redeem himself. I can most definitely keep my promises. :) **

**So, anyway, what do you think is going to happen? CUE SPECULATIONS THEME MUSIC**

**What's gonna happen now that they're all this weird little family?**

**Will Lia move back to Cali?**

**Will she stay with Dan in England?**

**Will they break up? (spoiler alert: they don't. Sorry to ruin your fun.)**

**Will they get married?**

***Sniffles* I have officially written all the chapters I need to fill the middle, combined with the end, it looks like this story is going to be 22 chapters. I really didn't want this story to end, it was just so fun. But, alas, it had to end somewhere and I didn't want to turn it boring right before it got good.**

***So here are five things that I did while procrastinating on writing the last couple of chapters!***

**1) I sat down and watched Phil's first ever videos. He kind of looked like Reece from Malcolm in the Middle, in my opinion.**

**2) I learned that damned Cup Song from Pitch Perfect**

**3) I got drunk and tried to make a mac and cheese casserole (which I spilled beer in, and then gave up on)**

**4) I read The Fault in Our Stars by John Green for the 100 billionth time**

**6) I folded socks**

**So what do you guys do when you procrastinate? Do you have fun or just do random things? Do you think Phil looks like Reece from Malcolm in the Middle when he was young? Will someone tell Dan just to pull up his pants already? What do you guys think about mac and cheese casserole? Would you ever try making one while intoxicated? **

**Let Me Know Below!**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Dan

"What am I doing?" Lia groaned and her head fell into my lap. The camera, on its tripod in front of us stared at us, unemotional, but judgmental.

The last week had been bit of an unflurry of activity. Lia came home pretty much skipping with Phil, who had found his goofy smile and innocent charm and we melded together into this little family of sarcastic wannabes and rejects. Phil, who had now found his new best friend in my girlfriend, was trying to make up all the time he had a been a jealous prick to her, and was monopolizing her time with little activities that got him way more excited than any normal person should, like trying American foods that he had never heard of and playing video games with his eyes closed.

At least they were getting along now. I wasn't sure what Lia said to Phil that made him switch around so sudden. And when I asked her, she just kissed me on the cheek and told me "He understands now." That was it. I loved Lia with all my soul, but she was so frustratingly enigmatic.

That morning, Lia and Phil were already awake when I stumbled into the kitchen. They were trying to play on the Wii Fit, but Phil would get distracted and stop giving Lia directions, which made her fall off a cliff or turn around and start going the other way.

"Phil." She would mutter. "Phil, I don't know where I'm going."

"Right. Turn left." He would say.

I came up behind her and ran my fingers down the side of her ribcage. "Good morning, baby." She turned around and put her head on my chest, I moved her wild curls out of my face. She was so petite that she stood directly eye-level to my collarbone. "Good morning, love." I answered.

"Ew. Get a room." Phil cracked a crooked smile, winning the race and turned towards us. "What are we doing today?"

"Um, actually I was thinking we could introduce you to the Danosaurs." I said as I walked to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee.

Lia came up to the breakfast bar and smoothed her beautiful hands over its surface. "Like be in a video?"

"Yes, that's what I was thinking." I had made a couple videos in the last week, trying to make up for my unintentional hiatus. But, I was still trying to convince Lia to be in one of my videos. She was apprehensive. "But, you would lose like two-thirds of your fanbase." She would point out. She didn't want to hurt my career of thrilling fangirls with my face. Which was true. I would face some follower loss on the sole fact that I hadn't had a girlfriend in like three years and a good portion of my fans were girls that fell in the 12 to 18 age bracket. But, I wanted to show the world my beautiful girlfriend; I was a bit tired of talking about me. I wanted to talk about _her_.

"That's a great idea though." Phil said, coming into the kitchen to get his usual bowl of cereal. "I mean, you're a part of the house now. He can't keep you a secret forever."

She pursed her lips in a cute fashion. "Don't gang up on me. I just don't know if I'll be good enough for one of Dan's videos. I mean, he's so hilarious in all of them."

"I leaned over the counter to grab her hand. "You're beautiful and talented and you have a great sense of humor. You're perfect for one of my videos."

So I got the camera set up when she started to have an existential crisis and anxiety attack. I stroked her hair gently. "It's okay to be nervous."

She popped up after a moment of groaning. "Okay. I'm good now."

I started the camera and sat down in front of, strategically lacing my fingers casually with hers and setting both of our hands on my lap. "Hello, Internet." I started. "Last night I sent out a tweet asking for questions for a new, special person to my life." I paused. "And while some of you had some really good questions, others were just…plain…well, it's the internet. So," I picked up my phone that had the list of questions that weren't _too _offensive and/or full of hate. "Let's get started, shall we?"

* * *

I was finishing up editing my video on the couch. Lia, who had finally warmed up to her adaptive reading software, was scrolling her new Facebook page on my computer. I would giggle because every time she held the mouse over a sentence it would read it in a middle-aged robot British woman's voice that was creepily seductive. So I'd be trying to edit and all of a sudden I would hear "_The friendzone, apparently the only zone I've ever known...and while it is a long road, I certainly don't walk alone" _or _"Today all I did was watch Netflix and eat food."_ In the most monotone, seductive voice possible.

"Is that Delia Smith?" Phil came in and sat down next to me.

"No, it's my blind-man computer software." She answered.

My phone that was sitting on the couch started ringing and Phil picked it up. "It says, London, but I don't recognize the number."

"I don't recognize it either." I said, glancing down at my screen.

"Can I answer it?" Phil said excitedly. I shrugged, so he did. "'Ello, Dominos, how can I help you? Wait, who are you looking for? No, no. You don't have the wrong number, I was just playing with you. Yeah, you can have her. Oh wait! What's your favorite animal? Really? That's odd. Yes, you can have her now." He got up and handed the phone to Lia. "It's for you. They're pretty mad at me now. His favorite animal is a dolphin." He said and Phil-danced out of the room.

Her eyebrows knitted over her wide blue eyes. She took the phone. "Hello?" Her eyebrows shot up. "Really? Really? Ohmygosh, thank you! No! Thank you for the opportunity!" She started smiling really big but then it faded. "Oh? No, I understand. No, it's okay. Thank you." She hung up and looked like she was about to cry.

"Who the hell was that?"

"It was Royal House. They want to sign me." She said glumly.

I jumped from my seat, almost dropping my very, very expensive laptop on the floor. "That's great news!"

"But they want me to move back to LA and he's going to set me up with their American sister company. They feel that I would have more success if I was more in America."

She stood up and I pulled her to my chest. "I don't want to leave you."

I didn't want her to leave either. But, I wasn't a selfish bastard all the time and said. "But think of the opportunity."

She pressed her face into the hollow of my shoulder. "I don't care about opportunity. I care about you. I love you, Daniel. I don't want anything else but you."

She had said it. Two, three months almost and she had said those three words that I waited to hear for so long. Tears swam into my eyes, of misery and happiness and instead of sobbing, I kissed her. I kissed her hard.

We made it down the hall to my room.

She started pulling her shirt out of the hem of her jeans.

I twined my fingers in her lovely, curly hair.

Those three, wonderful words echoed in my mind as we forgot the world and made love.

* * *

**Hi, Miss Talie! My only answer is this: No need to apologize, for you said nothing wrong and I'm glad you are enjoying it!**

**To Miss Kaylie: Dan really needs to desperately pull up his pants. I think we should start a petition! We can Call it 'The Motion to Pull Up your pants because your Underwear has Complained' petition? Better suggestions? Also, mac n cheese casserole is delicious, but I suggest you learn from my mistake and not try to repeat a My Drunk Kitchen episode. I would leave that to the lovely Miss Hannah Hart. :)**

**Also, note: those Facebook quotes I copied from my Facebook page while I was writing it. No such thing as privacy on the internet! Mwhahaha!**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Lia

Dan had kissed me hard and sudden when I broke the bad news to him. Even though I was sad and I didn't, no _couldn't_ leave him, my premonitions flew out the window when he started running his hands up and down my waist.

We knocked into the doorway and then the wall and then he finally led me to his room, our lips still locked together. I tugged the t-shirt I was wearing over my head, and helped him out of his shirt, while he shut the door and led me to his bed.

I ran my hands over his smooth back, reading his muscles with my hands, and gripped his shoulders while he nuzzled my neck.

"I love you." He said softly and gently, grunting a little as my mouth found his shoulder.

"I've never done this before." I answered, which was probably the least sexy thing that's probably been said in bed, ever.

He pulled away for a moment. "What?"

"I've-I've never done this before." I repeated. I sounded like a 13 year old girl who was afraid to be walked in on her parents.

He kissed my mouth again, softly. "It's okay. It's just like playing a piano."

I knew pianos. I could do piano. Sex, though. I was a little apprehensive about that metaphor. He wasn't an instrument, he was a person and I loved him. But I replied, "Okay." Anyways and let him unbutton my jeans.

I had that boy's body memorized. Every turn on I could trigger, I did. I read him like I would the keys of my old upright, my hands moving and reading and playing. He was quiet and I assumed so Phil wouldn't suspect what we were up to and I couldn't see his face for reassurance, but I could tell when I would make him happy because he would find a body part, my thigh or my hair or the hand that he had his fingers twined with, and squeeze.

He was patient and slow and encouraging with sweet words and he let me feel and touch and experience through my hands.

And then it happened.

It was slow and methodical at first.

But then it happened, all at once.

And it was magical and extraordinary and joyous.

And for the first time since I was twelve years old:

I saw fireworks.

* * *

I woke up slowly, to the birds singing outside our window, to the warmth of the morning creeping in. I sighed, remembering last night. I rolled over and found his bare chest with my hand, slowing rubbing circles over his heart.

"Good morning, love." He said sleepily and I pushed his hair out of his eyes to give him a kiss. "Good morning, baby." He rolled on his side and wrapped his arms around me. We were all twined limbs and connected bodies. I've never felt so safe in my life.

"You're beautiful." He murmured.

"So I've heard." I said, my hand finding the places that turned him on almost instantly.

"Mmm…" He sighed contently as I started working over him again, my mouth tasting his salty skin as I moved down his chest and under the covers. "Oh, Lia…Omygod." He rolled over on his back, grunting and exhaling and making all these noises that I didn't even know Dan could make. "Lia." He sighed my name over and over as I drove him over and over. My name came out more intense and more frequent as he started to climax.

_Bang. Bang. Bang._

I stopped. "Just ignore him." He said.

_Bang. Bang. Bang._ "Dan!" Phil shouted from behind the door. Dan groaned. I giggled softly, still halfway under the comforter.

"I'm ignoring you!" Dan shouted back.

"Dan! You have to come see this though!"

"Go away Phil!"

"But-,"

"I'll be out in a minute!"

"But-,"

"PHIL!" That shut him up. Dan pulled up the covers, revealing me. I had rolled on my back next to him. I started giggling and he started giggling. "Oh, Phil." He rolled out of bed, tripping over something, probably his boxers as he let himself out the door. "You are the worst cockblock, ever you know that? I could strangle you right now."

"My innocent ears!" Phil shouted as I found one of Dan's t-shirts and a pair of panties.

I had come out and found them in their computer room. "Just look at it."

I had come up behind them. "What is it?"

"It's your video from last night."

"What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing's wrong with it." Dan said. "_Lia is so pretty. I'm so jealous_." Dan read. "_Can I be Lia? She's smart, funny, and witty. Keep up the good work, Dan. She's probably the sweetest thing I've ever seen. They're so cute together. All my feels. I used to ship Phan, but now I ship Dia. Dia FTW." _

"This video has seven million views already." Phil pointed out.

"This is my most viewed video. My top only had four million views." Dan said. "There's absolutely no hate and I gained about three hundred new subscribers since yesterday."

Seven million? Seven million people had watched Dan and I answer questions his fans gave us? I felt like I was in couples counseling with Dan, with the questions he was asking me. Seven million people liked us together? Seven million? I couldn't even fathom seven million people. The amount of people comparable to the state population of Virginia thought we looked good together.

"Can you imagine when you get your album out?" Dan murmured. "You already have a fanbase."

"Wait, did you get signed?" Phil asked, turning towards me.

I turned my head down and nodded. "I did."

"That's so cool! You're going to be the next Adele or Beyoncé!" He started singing his rendition of _Crazy in Love_.

"I'm not leaving." I announced. But I sort of mumbled it so it came out as "'Snot leaving."

"What are you talking about?" Phil said, grabbing my shoulders, gently. Everything was super gentle with both of them. It was like they thought I was made of porcelain and would break if they weren't careful enough. "You have to go!"

"They want to move me back to LA." I said. "I don't want to leave Dan."

Dan got up, wrapping both arms around my waist. "You're going." He said sternly.

"But, I-,"

"No. I don't want any arguments. We will see each other, I promise. Maybe we can work something out with the BBC and take a long holiday or something."

The only good thing in my life. The one good thing. And it had to be taken away. Again. I felt my face get hot and tears flooded down my face. "No. I won't let you push me away." I stormed out of the room in a rush and ran up through the living room, out the window to the fire escape, where I sat down and listened to the city noises below me.

"Lia." I heard Dan come up and sit in the window sill. "I'm not trying to push you away. I just want you to not give up on your dream."

"I'll get a job here." I choked between tears. "The Philharmonic was looking for a piano player and I could teach choir or give lessons or something. Maybe I could work at the blind school. I don't want to leave, Dan. You're my everything." I climbed into his lap and buried my face into his neck.

"Shh." He comforted. "We'll figure something out. Don't worry. I promised I won't leave you. I'm not going to break my promise."

Later, when I had collected myself and tried to put going back to America out of my head, Phil burst through the doorway into the living room.

"BBC Goes Global."

"What?" Dan and I were watching (he was watching, I was listening) to Game of Thrones, which piqued my interest for about 3.5 minutes before I couldn't keep up with characters and zoned out.

"We'll go to America, I know they have a studio in LA, it's the BBC for petessake and we'll broadcast from there. We can bounce from LA to England and you can be with Lia and we can still spend the holidays with our parents and it will be awesome!"

"Do you think they will be okay with that?"

"We film every broadcast anyway and if it gets to rough, we can hiatus a little from BBC. When she goes on tour, we can move back to England for a little bit and when she's finished, she can come back and stay with us. I already called them. They said they can work something out with us because we get such high ratings every week."

"You would love LA." I said against Dan's chest. "We can get a place on the beach."

"Living in America?" Dan said and sat up. I could tell he was thinking about it. "I could meet my American fans."

"They would be thrilled to have us in America." Phil said. "Can you imagine it? No more flying back and forth between VidCon. We can have American guests like DailyGrace and Jenna Marbles and everyone else!"

Dan got up and immediately got on his phone. He placed the cool metal square into my hand. "It's the record company. Ask when they want you out there."

After about an hour of working out details of my departure with Mr. Bouchard, we finally settled on the fastest I could get out there and start recording the better. He got me a ticket for next week and by the time I was done talking to him, I was all set up to go back to LA.

"We won't be able to get the same flight." Phil said, taking position on the couch with his laptop. "At the earliest, we can get tickets two Mondays from now, which is probably better because then we can wrap it up with BBC here and get everything set up over at the studio in LA"

Dan came over and wrapped his arms around me, dancing around a little. "We're moving to America!"

"We're moving to America!" Phil shouted and joined the hug.

"I'm moving back to America!" I giggled and hugged them both back.

Phil pulled away. "You know what that means, right?"

"No, Phil. I don't have telepathy. I see no deeper meaning in this. What does it mean?"

Dan said, his arms still wrapped around me.

"We have to get Lia to do every tourist-y thing in London before she leaves! Let super happy weekend time commence!"

* * *

***A couple of things I wanted to discuss with y'all***

**Firstly,**

**Smut Smut Smut Smutty Smut Smut**

**Here are my thoughts on Danisnotonfire and Amazing 'Smut' fanfiction written in haiku form.**

**_O, how I hate thee_**

**_Demon chairs to sunburned skin_**

**_What the actual fuck?_**

**Did you like that haiku? But, no seriously. I LOVE Dan and Philfiction whether it's Phan or OC, but the smutfictions are horrible and nonsensical and like what the hell. So, no. Just no. Anyway, I kept the sex scene as PG-13 as possible. I knew it had to happen sometime, I mean, they're not Amish. Also, fun fact time! I'm a trained nurse. No, seriously. If you don't believe me, look up my license. I'm an LPN, so I tend to get a bit...technical, I figured out if I actually sat down and started writing literary porn. It would look something like a care plan mixed with 50 Shades of Grey...**

**_He stroked her labia majora in a seductive way, while her cervix contracted to the rhythm of his finger..._**

**Just no.**

**Secondly.**

**The Valentine's Day video. I went on my Tumblr last night after uploading Chapter 16 and MY WHOLE DASH WAS COVERED WITH THE VALENTINE'S DAY VIDEO! If you haven't watched it here's a synopsis: Phil goes on video, Phil tells Dan he loves him, Phil talks about the night he and Dan kiss, Phangirls scream, and Dan and Phil LOL BECAUSE IT'S A BIG JOKE. That's it. They never meant to publish it and it was all a joke and anyone with a left temporal lobe would see that after he mentions the 'Manchester Eye.' Fun Fact Time! The London Eye is the big ferris wheel on the Thames river that you see in pictures of London. There is no such thing as a 'Manchester Eye.' Thank you and good night.**

**Thirdly.**

**_*Miss Talie:Miss, i like the sound of that, anyway thanks for the response it is appreciated and yes, yes i am enjoying it AND HOW REGULARLY YOU ARE MANAGING TO UPDATE IT! are you a machine? and as a major Phil fan i just love how you are writing him. Keep writing, you are awesome_*******

**I'm not a machine. lol. The whole story is written and saved on my computer, so right now, I'm just copying and pasting chapters at my leisure. Secondly, I was 'suspended' from work for a couple of days because I accumulated too much overtime and because I have no life, I spent it watching Danisnotonfire and DailyGrace and writing this fic that I had put off forever. So, there you go!**

**Enjoy and cheers!**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Dan

Phil can definitely keep his word.

We literally started at one end of London and worked our way around. It was impossible the amount of sightseeing we did in that one Saturday, but because it's Phil and he's made up of pixie dust and Red Bull and Maltesers, he made the whole thing work and we trekked from one place to the next. About lunchtime, we ended up at Harrod's.

"I wish we would come here more." Phil said as we walked through the small city that was the department store Harrod's.

"I wish we won't come here again." Lia had her body pressed up against mine. She had given up trying to use her cane, because she would either hit an unlucky tourist or a display. She wasn't claustrophobic, she was "catastrophobic" and said that high-crowded places weren't made for the blind.

"But look at all the cheese!" For some reason, we ended up in deli meats and cheeses.

Lia wandered down the display, talking to the deli guy behind the counter. I turned to Phil, who had a directory tucked under his arm. "Where is jewelry?" I asked.

"Uh." He pulled out the directory. "Fourth floor." He looked at me suddenly. "You're not going to propose to Lia are you?"

I blushed crimson and glanced at Lia to make sure she couldn't listen in. "No. I mean, we've only been together, what, three months? I'm not stupid. I just want to get her something so when we are separated, she won't feel so alone."

"Well, I can run interference for you and keep her distracted while you go find something." He beamed.

"Will you? Oh, that would be great." I watched as Phil joined in on the conversation with the deli guy while I made a mad dash for the escalator.

"Would you like to sample our new perfume, sir?" I didn't even turn to answer, I just kept speed walking up and up until I was at the jewelry section, which of course was massive and covered the same area as roughly Phil and I's flat.

"Can I help you find anything, sir?" A small Indian guy with a Indian/English (don't ask me how he accomplished that) accent came up to the first counter I was looking at.

"Yes." I answered. "My girlfriend. I want to get her something because we're going to be separated for a while."

He motioned over to a rack of earrings. "Earrings are always a lovely gift."

I shook my head. "No, you don't understand. My girlfriend is blind. I want something that she can feel. She isn't a very flashy person at all, but I still want to get something that she can hold in her hand."

"Ahh. May I direct you over to our Infinity collection, then sir?" He walked down a ways and I followed from the other side of the glass. "The Infinity collection, I think, would befit your needs. While they are simple, yet spectacular, they do take on a shape that cannot be mistaken for anything but an infinity sign."

I looked at the collection. I didn't want anything with diamonds though, because I knew how simply Lia liked to dress. She would want something simple. "Do you have anything that doesn't have jewels?"

"Yes, sir." He reached into the glass case and pulled out a simple white gold infinity necklace. The infinity medallion itself was a pretty good size and it sat on a simple white gold chain.

"How much is it?"

"Two." He answered.

"Two hundred?"

"Two thousand, sir. This is Harrod's sir, not Tesco."

I sucked in some air, thinking about how beautiful she would look with it on. "Okay. I'll take it."

"Where to? Where to?" Phil was walking a couple paces in front of us, trying to find a place to eat lunch. We were walking down the street in a neighborhood I wasn't familiar with.

"Hey, what's that ferris wheel you always see in pictures of London?" Lia asked suddenly, her cane swinging methodically back and forth in front of her.

"The London Eye! Oh, what a staple! I haven't been on the Eye yet!" Phil buzzed around us like a bee. "Do you want to go on the Eye, Lia?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I'll go on the Eye, if you promise that you will come with me on the Matterhorn at Disneyland in California."

His eyes lit up. "Of course! I want to go to Disneyland so bad! I mean, I've been to Disneyland Paris, but that doesn't hold a candle to Anaheim Disney!" If Phil could add a smiley emoji to that last sentence, he would have.

We ate lunch near Thames, so we would be close to the Eye. I held Lia's hand under the table. The waitress, who looked like Phil's mum (not being rude, she did look like Phil's mum. He even said so) came over and showered compliments on Lia and I.

"Aren't you a handsome couple?" She said as she set her food down and scurried away.

"_Aren't you a handsome couple_?" Lia put her hand on her chest dramatically and then sighed. "Perks of being blind are that no one wants to be rude to a blind person."

"Why is that?" Phil asked with innocent eyes as he stuffed chips into his mouth.

"Because people believe in Karma and Kingdom Come and good deeds will bring good tidings and all that bullshit." Lia shrugged and picked up her fork. "Being nice to a blind girl or a homeless man or throwing some change into the offering plate and then expecting God to rein mercy on your soul on Judgment Day is a crock."

"Do you believe in heaven?" I turned to her, barely touching my food.

She made a thoughtful noise. "To believe in heaven, you need to believe in life after death, to believe in life after death, you need to believe in a god that'll bring you there, which I don't." She squeezed my hand under the table. "I believe heaven is that moment in life where you actually feel alive."

"I believe there is a heaven and there is definitely a hell." Phil said between mouthfuls of chips. "You don't live a hundred years on planet earth, working and fighting, just to perish and die and rot and be forgotten."

She shrugged again. "I mean, good deeds_ do_ bring good tidings. They're just selfish tidings. It makes people feel good if they know that they are making 'the less fortunate,'" she made quotation marks in the air with her fingers. "feel good about themselves too. I mean, she can say I'm a pretty girl all day long, but I wouldn't know, I can't look in mirrors. It actually kind of makes me feel like she's lying to me. It makes her feel good for giving me a compliment that I have to take out of politeness."

"Well, you know I would never lie to you, right?" I piped up.

She turned her wide blue eyes to me. "Of course."

"Well, believe me when I say you are the most beautiful girl in this hemisphere and you don't need to look in a mirror to see that."

She kissed me softly on the cheek. "Thank you, Dan."

"For what?"

"For being my heaven."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Lia

We were walking to the London Eye, the three of us. Dan held my hand with all this might, never letting me go. Every once in a while he would rub small circles on the top of my hand with his thumb.

It was a hot day and I was wearing shorts and a tank top, but I guess Dan liked what he saw because he would comment on how beautiful I looked in the England sunlight. We stopped at an intersection and were waiting for our turn to cross when Phil decided to poke fun at my hair.

"You know, with the humidity, I'm pretty sure your hair has its own area code, by now." Phil giggled at his own joke.

"You're not funny." I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Tell that to the millions of people subscribed to my channel."

"More like fangirls." I smiled wickedly.

"Give me that!" He pounced on me from the side, trying to grab at my cane. I smacked him on the leg with it and he yanked it out of my hand. "Hah! Now I have your cane! You are powerless, Overlord of Destruction!"

"Guys." Dan groaned.

I turned to make sure the couple of bystanders who were murmuring about the 'kid with the hair and that blind girl' were close enough to hear and then burst into a fit of fake tears. "He stole my cane! Why would you do that to a blind girl, Phil? It's so mean! You know I can't get around without it." I covered my face with my hands.

Dan grabbed both of my hands and pulled me close. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hid my face into chest. I was secretly thrilled for 1) Dan was holding me so close and 2) I just made Phil look like a total ass in front of complete strangers.

"Phil, give Lia her cane back." Dan said warningly. I just increased the fake sobs.

"She's faking! I know she is!"

I could hear the couple whisper behind us about 'that poor blind girl' and how Phil was being such a 'wanker for taking her cane.'

"'Ey, mate. Give the girl her cane back." One of the bystanders spoke up.

"But…but…she's faking." He sighed and I held out my hand from the sanctuary of Dan's hold for my cane. He put the cane in my hand and I burst from Dan's chest.

"Ha! You just got punk'd, mothafucka!" The couple behind us applauded.

"That's not fair! Dan!" Phil started whining.

I could feel Dan shrug. "No sympathy. You were asking for it."

Phil whined all the way to the London Eye and I teased him for being tricked by a blind girl. "You have to admit, it was pretty good."

"Yeah, you really got me." He finally admitted.

We got to the Eye and I could feel Dan's grip on my hand grow tighter. I wondered how tall it really was. I mean, it couldn't be that scary, right?

"I don't want to go on." Phil said finally.

"It's perfectly safe." Dan said more to himself than to Phil.

"Guys, it can't be that bad, can it?"

After about twenty minutes playing chicken, we finally got our tickets and boarded the Ferris wheel. I leaned against Dan's shoulder and the cool plastic under me felt refreshing in this humid weather.

"If we die, I just want to let you know I love you, Lia." Dan said apprehensively.

"I love you too, Dan but, you're not going to die. Not with me, not today." I kissed his cheek.

"Gross. Get a room." Phil said from across the car.

"Shut up and eat your pretzel." Dan said and wrapped both arms around me.

"I feel so discluded." Phil made a mock sobbing sound.

"You wanna kiss, too?" I batted my eyelashes.

The ferris wheel lurched and then I felt it move forward and up. The breeze was so nice up high in the air. It was perfect up here. Fuck anyone who didn't like England. They obviously have never been on the Eye. I wanted to stay like this forever. Just me and him and well, Phil. On the eye, just talking about nothing and everything. Together, with him, forever. I liked that idea.

When the ride ended we departed and started for a pub. Phil was bouncing around babbling about how cool that was and how we needed to do it again sometime. Then he went on about how we need to go to Disneyland one day and was asking me a whole bunch of questions about Anaheim Disney.

"Do they really have the teacup ride?" He asked excitedly as we made our way down the street. It was getting dark outside. I could tell because the temperature dropped about twenty degrees.

"Yeah, but the best is Space Mountain."

"Ohmygod. Dan! We have to go!" Phil rushed into me in a big, weird semi-hug. I had half a mind to push him off. But, I didn't because it was Phil and this is how Phil is. "I'm so glad you're a part of our little, weird family now, Lia. I truly am. Can we please put that…whatever behind us and be lion-friends for the rest of eternity?"

"Phil, get off my girlfriend." Dan giggled.

We had stopped at the same crosswalk where Phil stole my cane. I handed the same cane to Dan and gave Phil the biggest hug I could imagine on the 5'11 frame he had. I seriously think I started squeezing the life out of him. "Water under the bridge." I pulled away and took my place next to Dan. "I'm glad to be a part in your weird, little family anyway. It's probably the most I've ever had. Ever." I flicked a tear off my face.

"Aw! Don't cry!" Phil said as he engulfed me in another hug. I pulled Dan in there too so we were a Lia Oreo for a minute.

"I'm so happy, you guys!" Dan pulled away. "You have no idea. I mean, the love of my life and the best friend a guy could ask for in the same place at the same time. It just makes me want to jump around or something!"

I felt Dan wander into the street while he kept babbling. "It kind of makes me want to scream!" I could hear him get farther and farther towards the center of the street. "I'M THE HAPPIEST GUY ALIVE!" It echoed against the buildings.

I could feel the street tremble. "Dan." I said cautiously.

"MY GIRLFRIEND IS PERFECT!"

I could hear the rumble of an engine down the street. "Daniel."

"MY BEST FRIEND IS THE BEST!"

Phil was giggling hysterically next to me at him. I couldn't get his attention either.

I stepped off the curb a split second after I heard the sharp squeal of truck brakes. It was like the forces of nature made time stood still long enough for me to save Dan. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears as I threw myself with all my might against him, pushing him out of the way of danger. My chest impacted with hot metal and I heard the crack of my skull on pavement before I felt the sharp pain up my back and then I couldn't feel anything at all.

And then everything went white.

* * *

**Welp, we're down to the last two chapters. When should I upload the last chapter after that cliffhanger? Tomorrow? Next Week? Month? Year?**

**Miss Kaylieward: please don't cry! I'm glad you are enjoying it.**

**The 'heaven is the moment where you feel alive' is a lyric, actually out of a song called 'The Tide' by The Spill Canvas. It's so beautiful. If you get the chance, listen to it. It's amazing! **


	20. Chapter 20

Dan

"CALL 9-9-9! CALL 9-9-9!" It was like Phil was shouting down a tunnel, like I was in some dream that wasn't real. I could hear him, but I couldn't believe my ears. One second everything was perfect, everything and then I saw the flash of truck lights, the squeal of brakes, and then I was being pushed out of the way onto the ground.

My limbs felt like they weren't real, like they were detached and someone else was controlling them. But I managed to crawl over to Lia, who was lying broken on the ground, blood pooling at her head and in her mouth. Phil was over her body doing chest compressions. I managed to coax my hand to pull out my phone and call 9-9-9.

"Dispatch. Please state your emergency."

Tears filled my eyes and spilled on my face. I couldn't find words. "My…girlfriend just got hit by a truck. She's…bleeding from her head." The words felt like someone had stuffed my mouth with cotton balls. Phil was aggressively pounding on her chest, sweat beading on his forehead.

"We're…not…going…to…lose you!" He said with each compression. "Stay with us, Lia!"

Her eyes popped open. "Dan." Blood bubbled on her lips. Phil stopped doing compressions. "Where's Dan?"

"I'm right here." I grabbed her hand. "I'm right here."

"I told you, you weren't going to die today." She smiled weakly up at me.

"I know, baby. I know." I knelt down and touched my forehead with hers. She had gone cold to the touch and I could feel her blood in my hair and my tears mixing with hers.

"I love you." She whispered in my ear.

"I love you too." I gasped for air. This wasn't happening. This was all a nightmare.

"The colors." She whispered as I wiped the tears from her cheeks. "It's so bright."

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to take a step back." A hand grabbed my shoulder and pulled me away from Lia. Two paramedics knelt over her and started strapping her to a gurney.

"Dan, let's go. We can beat them there."

* * *

We didn't beat them to the hospital; they came a split second before us. I saw Lia as she passed from one doorway into another. All monitors were simultaneously screeching, making for a morbid symphony. I could hear the doctors and nurses and they worked over her as the paramedics gave her basic stats.

"Female. Twenty-two. Truck accident..."

"Condition is critical."

"She's coding blue!"

"She's not responding to the light cues."

And like that they disappeared behind two swinging doors with the love of my life. This couldn't have been happening. It couldn't have. It was a nightmare and any minute now she was going to shake me awake and hold me and tell me it was all a dream. She was going to kiss me gently in the space between my ear and my neck and run her hands all over my back, reading my muscles with her skilled, beautiful hands. Any moment now.

But it never happened.

I looked at my friend whose hair was in a tangled mess and had Lia's blood splattered on his shirt and face. _Lia's blood. That was Lia's blood. _The lion decal stared at me in mockery and it took all my control not to just rip the shirt off of Phil's body.

"Let's sit down." Phil all but whispered as he dragged me to a seat. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. I was not going to lose Lia. I wasn't.

"They're going to bring her back, right?" My voice cracked.

"I can't say for certain, Dan."

This wasn't happening.

Time stood still. After a while, a kind lady in a skirt with sympathy in her eyes came up and asked us if it was okay if we filled out some paperwork on Lia. I took the clipboard, but when I tried to find the line to fill in her name my hands were shaking so bad and tears filled my eyes making it impossible to see the paper. I handed the clipboard to Phil and he filled it out for me.

Fifteen minutes went by and then another and then another, and then by the time I looked at the clock again, an hour had passed.

Phil had stood up and was pacing back and forth going over what had happened. "She came to. She shouldn't have done that. She's not strong enough to survive a hit like that…" I sat in my seat, shaking from disbelief.

This wasn't happening.

Finally a dark-skinned nurse came out. She had a splatter of blood on her in the shape of Greece on her green scrubs. _Lia's blood. That was Lia's blood too._

I stared at the spot while she explained Lia's condition.

"She's on life support…"

Stark reality hit me like a bat to the face.

"…internal bleeding was too much…"

Lia saved me.

"The trauma to her head and spine rendered her brain-dead…"

That truck was supposed to hit me and she saved me.

"It's time to say goodbye."

Lia wasn't coming back.

I was going to have to say goodbye.

The best thing that ever happened to me.

She was gone.

I was going to have to say goodbye.

It. Was. All. My. Fault.

I stood up with Phil and followed him shakily to Lia's room. Colors started to fade and shapes started to blur together. She lied there in a hospital gown and I watched the artificial rise and fall of her chest that was aided by the machine she was hooked up to and heard the dull, methodical tone of the heart monitor. She looked so peaceful.

I dropped to my knees on the floor next to her bed, while Phil stood sullenly on the other side. I brushed her hair out of her face, she was still warm. I wanted her to wake up, like this was just one of her playful pranks. I _expected _her to wake up. But she didn't. This was the end.

Phil had started crying, but he seemed so far away. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He kept saying.

_I love you, Lia_. I kissed her temple and her shoulder. _It should have been me._

"I'm going to shut off the machine now." The nurse said quietly. She touched a button and pulled the respirator out of Lia's mouth. Her chest stopped moving and the heart monitor squealed. The nurse shut that off before she left the room, leaving us alone in silence.

I sat for what seemed like hours next to Lia's body. She had gone cold and pale, all life was gone. It was a corpse. She was gone. I just sat and stared and prayed that this was all some sick joke.

"Dan." A female voice startled me and I looked over my shoulder at Carrie. She had tears in her eyes as she came over and touched my shoulders. "Phil wants me to take you home so you can rest. He's going to finish up the paperwork here. They want to move her out now."

I nodded and got up off the floor. I look over one more time. But she just lied there. I left everything in that room. My happiness. My love. My soul.

It was all gone.

And there was nobody to blame but myself.

* * *

**So, my last author's note will be its own chapter AFTER the Epilogue. Please stay tuned! ALL THE THANK YOU'S WILL BE THERE! **

**Dear Miss Midnight4568: 13 reviews. 13 REVIEWS. YOU ARE A REVIEWER SENT FROM HEAVEN ABOVE. THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! :D So, I WILL ANSWER ALL OF YOUR REVIEWS IN MY LAST AUTHOR'S NOTE! I PROMISE! ALL OF THEM. **

**If you have any more questions, anybody, please please please leave a review and I will answer you in my author's note. :D **


	21. Epilogue

Epilogue

Phil

There's always something about rainy days.

Maybe it's the gloominess from the clouds or the smell on the pavement. Maybe it's the way the rain can ruin your whole day by making your socks wet or your train late. Maybe it's the way you forget your umbrella during a downpour or having the thunderclaps startle you out of pleasant dreams. Whatever it is, there always something about rainy days.

This day in particular was a wet, rainy day.

Dan squinted at the sky like he hadn't seen it in a while. And he hadn't, not since that night at the hospital. He had locked himself in his room and I could hear his muffled begs and cries from down the hallway. He was pleading with the God that Lia was convinced didn't exist, to bring her back.

I tried everything to get him out of there, but it was no use. So, I started leaving food for him outside his door and after I figured out that it was going untouched, I left him alone completely. The only thing that assured me he was alive was the way he woke up screaming at three in the morning.

This morning, Dan came out into the kitchen for the first time in two weeks. He looked deathly skinny and his eyes were red and bloodshot.

"Do you want some coffee?" I asked hopefully.

He looked over at the window, ignoring me. "Today's her funeral, isn't it?"

I looked down into my mug. "Yes, Dan. Today is Lia's funeral."

He flinched at her name. "I'll get ready then."

I had made the funeral arrangements. She had no one else. No family, no friends but us. It was going to be quiet, something she would have appreciated.

Dan and I walked slowly, in our matching suits and haircuts and umbrellas, down to the little church on the corner. We weren't religious, she wasn't either, but it seemed…appropriate somehow.

"I'm so sorry Dan." Carrie came up and hugged Dan. She had been crying. She pulled away and came to stand next to me.

"He's taking this hard, isn't he?" She whispered to me.

_He's taking this hard_ was an understatement. It was more like; _He died the moment they turned the life-support machine off. _

It was just Chris, Peej, Dan, Carrie and I. Not even Sam, Lia's old flat-mate showed up. Not her aunt. Nobody.

We all walked into the small, cozy church together. Lia was lying in the pine casket up front. Her small hands, those wonderful hands that could light up a room or make everyone cry their eyes out with the music they created, those hands that she used to feel and read and see her way through life, the same hands that pushed Dan out of the way of that car and saved him, the same ones he clutched when she passed away, laid perfect over her heart.

The preacher, a tall man with a nose that made him to resemble a pelican began the memorial. I wasn't really paying attention to him though; I was paying attention to Dan. He half-sat, half-slumped in his seat. His suit made it look like it was made for pro-wrestler, he had lost that much weight, and he was so pale, he was blue, like a nice, expensive-looking marble countertop. It made the dark circles under his eyes stand out. He was staring at his shoes the whole time too.

I was called up to say the eulogy. I pulled a piece of paper out of my pocket that had my speech on it, but on second thought, I dropped it and watched it flutter to the ground.

"I absolutely hated Lia," This made Dan look at me. "In the beginning of course." I cleared my throat. "She was headstrong and stubborn and she had a potty-mouth. She questioned authority and she was quite odd compared to us. She enjoyed classical music and reading in cemeteries and playing music for strangers and taking the train to absolutely nowhere just so she could listen in on conversations." I took a breath. "But, on the other hand, she was honest and caring and independent and even though I couldn't stand the thought of her taking my best friend away from me, she stole his heart and in turn, she stole all of our hearts. I look back on when I couldn't stand being in the same vicinity of Lia and I think now how foolish it was. She was and is the most captivating person I have ever met. She's one of those people that you can never, ever forget. We loved Lia, and we will continue to love Lia. Forever."

Carrie was crying into Chris' shoulder and PJ was nodding his head in agreement and Dan, Dan had the smallest hint of smile on his face and tears in his eyes.

"Thank you." He whispered to me as I sat down.

Our friends and the preacher said farewells to Lia and left Dan and I alone in the church. Dan stood at the casket in silence and I came up to him after a while.

"Dan."

"She's so beautiful. She never knew how beautiful she truly was." His face was twisted around, like when you have to cry, but you are trying to fight the tears.

I looked down at her. She had her curly brown hair over one shoulder and was wearing a light blue dress. She was beautiful and she looked so peaceful too.

Dan pulled out a necklace from his pocket. The emblem was a small infinity sign set in white gold. "I meant to give this to her. It was a promise from me that she would never be left alone again. I wanted to give her something she could feel. An infinity sign was perfect because she could run her fingers around it again and again and it would never end."

He picked up one of her delicate hands and looped the necklace through her fingers. "It should've been me." He barely whispered.

"Dan, I'm so sorry." I meant it with all my heart, truly. I didn't want to cry until now. I lost my new friend and now I'm losing my best friend.

He looked at me; the shiny-brightness that just went with Dan's personality was gone. The bounciness that he had and his witty sense of humor were gone. His eyes were just dull and dim and _dead_. "I know. I'm sorry too." He looked over my shoulder through the window. "But, look the rain stopped."

We turned and exited the small, worn church into the sunlight, and I never saw my true best friend again.

* * *

_This isn't going to be a normal video, because I come with bad news. Last week, on Saturday, around two am, London-time, Dan overdosed on pain medication and killed himself. I know, as his fans, he would have wanted to say sorry, because he knew how much you guys loved him. He would have also wanted to say goodbye and how he wished it didn't have to end like this. He was suffering from major depression and anxiety following the death of his girlfriend, Lia. With that being said, this will also be my last video, for I am shutting down my YouTube account. I'm sorry, I truly am. _

I clicked 'upload video' and then pulled out the hastily written note that was on Dan's body when I found him lying dead on his bed and read it over and over again.

_'Hush, baby. Don't say word'_

_But, how could I not speak_

_When all of this world_

_Robbed me of you?_

_My heart is shattered and broken_

_This place is cold and dead_

_And all I have are my demons_

_That live now inside my head_


	22. Not an Author's Note

Hi, lovely placenta cookies of delight!

A couple of things!

1) I'm so sorry if the ending made you cry tears (or virtual tears) I never thought when I was writing this out that It would invoke such an emotional from my readers! Although, I'm glad you think it's well written and enjoyed it one and the same!

2) What' in the works? Well, coming up I have a couple of different stories! So, please stay tuned. Here's what's going on:

A sequel. Yes, there will be a sequel. It looks like it will not be as long as the first one. But, it's going to be in Phil's POV and he'll be mostly in LA (where I used to live), so all you Angels that live in the Golden State will be happy at all the cool city references I throw in there. (spoiler alert: it's probably not going to be as sad as the first)

A collaborative One-Shot with one of my bestest friends, Zach. We're currently working on a story named _Group Therapy for YouTubers_. So, be prepared to laugh your ass off, because it's really funny.

A horror fic about Phil . No, please stifle your laughter. Honest to God, I'm surprised too. That one will most likely hit the press first, because I'm about half-way done with the ending finished. So please look for that in the next week or so!

3) I have a couple questions for you all before I start the thank yous! I have a deleted chapter in Dan's POV and then an alternate (happier) ending saved up in my archive of random documents for _Love is Blind_ and I was wondering if I should post them? Would guys be interested in reading those? Please let me know in the reviews!

Okay, thank you time! Now, firstly, I can't answer all of your reviews. It's kind of silly and I would be behind my computer forever, but Emotional Llama, Kaylieward, Marilyn3 and Feathflight *insert binary code that you are apparently using in your username, but I can't bring myself to copy and paste because math* and Miss Talie: I'M SO SORRY PLEASE DON'T HATE ME FOREVER FOR KILLING THEM OFF. I J-JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME. OKAY? *braces self for virtual mob storm*

Thank you JustGoogleIt for beta-reading this monster.

Thank you Teej, my English pen pal, who unbeknownst to him was my walking, talking English Encyclopedia.

Thank you lovely readers and followers!

ShutUpImSam

SincerelyAnOpportunist

Tillymeehan

Beebee73

I'veMadeItMyOTP

Kaylieward

NightTimeSparkle

Andlydia

Plinglulill

Lily-Frogg

MyFriendsCallMeKatniss

XxxImNotOkayxxX

Midnight4568

adcgreengirl22

MelloMadness

Okay, Miss Midnight4568, I told you I would answer them all, are you ready?

Chapter 2: "Twirling vortex of awkward shame and despair" should go in the Guinness World Record book as "Most adjectives used in a grammatically correct sentence" don't you think?

Chapter 4: I DID write those lyrics myself, in fact. I'm not musically inclined; I just pretended to by Hayley Williams writing poetry and penned that out. Thank you for that! Also, I had to throw in a subversive Phan reference sometime. I might as well get it out of the way in the first couple chapters. ;P

Chapter 5: JustGoogleIt is a very lovely beta-reader and I recommend her to all my fanfiction writers! And I didn't know that about Phil's twin from MT. I just went to Wikipedia for the birthdays, because laziness.

Chapter 10: LOL at bad cultural references. However, for being someone who has never even set foot across the Mississippi River, let alone in a whole different continent, I think I did pretty okay, right? (PS I watched Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging about 4 times while writing this just for cultural references I could throw in there)

Chapter 12: I liked this chapter too, even though it was shorter than I originally hoped.

Chapter 13: Fun Fact: Dan's speech was almost taken verbatim from a speech he made about quitting uni. I just threw in the whole "in love with a fictional character" thing.

Chapter 15: Character developments are friends, not food! Yes, yes Phil was always going to come back, but he had to go through his angsty, rebellious chapters first. ;) I learned the Cup Song in about an hour and then spent the next day at work perfecting it and playing it for all my kiddo patients that I had to take vitals on. :)

Chapter 17: Smut is poison. Phan smut is poison wrapped in raw bacon served cold with a side of ew. Just no, not even going there. And *sigh* if Phanatics put in as much effort in gaining Phil and Dan new followers instead of what's going in there personal lives, they would be more popular than Jesus. Also, uploading the VDay vid on YouTube where Dan almost has 2 million subscribers and Phil has 1.5 million subscribers and then thinking that no one would figure out a way to watch it is a bit…silly, don't you think? tusken-raidur-ass is my Tumblr, lovely.

Chapter 18: If Phil could add a smiley emoji to life, he would figure out a way. ^_^

Chapter 19: *crickets*

Chapter 20: I think you're up to fifteen now. :)

Chapter 21: Er. I can't bring myself to ship Phan. I ship Destiel. I ship Johnlock. But, I can't bring myself to ship them as more than friends (maybe it's because I fantasize myself with them too much, but to each his own) and I'M SO SORRY. That chapter legitimately sat on my computer for a good 3 months before I got around to writing the rest.


	23. Alternate (cough happier cough) Ending

**EEP! 2 million guise! 2 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS FOR DANISNOTONFIRE! yAY! **

**Anyway, to celebrate, here's a little nugget of happiness that should tickle your funny bone!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

LOVE IS BLIND ALTERNATE ENDING

Dan

"What about that one?" Phil pointed to a random ring.

I sighed aloud. "That would be great…if I was Hugh Hefner. Phil, understated. We're looking for understated."

Last night, I was watching Lia sleep in our rental house that we go in Malibu, I was watching the wonderful rise and fall of her chest and I traced the scar that sat right under her hair line and migrated to the back of her skull from where she got hit.

It was close, I remember. Severe concussion and a splinter fracture of her skull that lodged in her occipital lobe that left her comatose for two weeks and three days. Phil went into this weird mother-mode, where he just jumped in and took care of everything: paperwork, Royal House, and especially me. He would bring me food and coffee when I refused to leave her side, in fear of her waking up without me there. She finally woke up, dazed and confused and they immediately rushed her into surgery to remove the splinter.

And then the most miraculous thing happened.

She woke up on Thursday. It was foggy and overcast, a usual day in England. I had my hands laced with hers. I was talking to her, assuring her I was there.

"She's a bit out of it." The nurse kept saying.

And then her eyes opened, her wide beautiful blue eyes, and for the first time since I've met her, they moved back and forth and then turned and focused on me.

They focused on me.

"Dan." She said, tears falling on her cheeks. "Dan, you're so handsome."

The nurse clapped her hands. "I've heard of occipital recovery, but I've never seen it in person!" She rushed out the room. "Doctor! Doctor!"

She could see. Of course, I immediately started cry and Phil started crying and she just kept looking from me to Phil and back to me. The next day I bought her the brightest bouquet of roses I could find and then another dozen the next day and then another dozen and watched her eyes light up each day as I gave them to her.

"They're so beautiful. You're so beautiful." She kept murmuring.

But, that night, while her lips were parted half-way and she snored daintily, and I stroked the scar and I realized that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

I decided that I wanted to marry her.

"How about this one?" Phil pointed to a ring. It wasn't a clear diamond, it was one of the light pink ones and it was cut round with two little diamonds on either side.

The jeweler that was helping us had the face of a bird with a long nose and big eyes. "That one is called a princess cut, one karat, with one-sixteenth karats on either side."

"I like that one." I said, imagining it on Lia's finger, imagining her eyes dance when I gave it to her.

"Lia, you're number twelve on the Top 40 billboard charts, you have cured blindness and you just won the Super Bowl, what are you going to do now!?" Phil asked, panning the camera in Lia's face as she smiled and pushed her curly hair behind her ear.

"I'm going to Disneyland!" She shouted, throwing her hands up in the air. I giggled, pulling Lia close to me as I kissed her on her temple. Eight months. It was our eight month anniversary today. Eight months of bouncing back and forth between London and Los Angeles, eight months of Lia working and working for what she has earned, eight months of complete bliss being with the girl I love.

I reached into my pocket, stroking the little velvety black box as I waited in line for our tickets. I volunteered to get the tickets while Phil was interviewing Lia about Disneyland for his next vlog.

"So, what's it like seeing Disneyland for the first time?"

She smiled crookedly. "I don't know, Phil. What is it like?"

He panned the camera on the gate. "It looks like a prison from the outside. Where's the castle? Where's Cinderella's castle?"

I came back with the tickets and we waited through the dreaded line of doom and impatience to get through security and then we were finally walking along Main Street Disney.

"It's so cute." Lia said with my arm wrapped around her shoulder. She had to wear special sunglasses that blocked out red-spectrum light, because even though she could see now, it was still like sensory overload for her and it gave her massive headaches. She called them her old-person glasses because they shielded on all sides.

"Look! There's Walt!" Phil pointed at the statue in the middle of the park. Lia climbed up next to it and leaned on Walt's shoulder.

"He's a dense guy." She joked and put her hand up like a model from The Price is Right. "Over my shoulder you can see the wonderful architecture that is Cinderella's Castle." She giggled and stepped down.

"You would make a beautiful model." I said, pulling her against me and kissing the scar on her head.

"I think I'll keep to singing." She giggled.

"As we watch the mating rituals between the animal Danisnotonfireareous and his mate, Miraculous Paradoxous." Phil put on an Australian accent as he zoomed the camera in on us. "'Aye. Isn't she's a beut there?"

"Shut up, Phil." We both groaned at the same time.

"Well, stop making love and let's ride rides!" He skipped towards Adventureland. We made it to Space Mountain and got in line. I looked over to where I could see Cinderella's Castle peeking over the tall buildings. I was going to do it there, right in front. I just needed to come up with a plan to lure her over there. I touched the ring box nervously.

"Space Mountain is going to be so much FUN!" Phil was almost vibrating with excitement. I looked around Adventureland, finally spotting someone. "I'll be right back." I said, pointed at the bathroom and hurried up to the actor playing Peter Pan.

"I need your help." I panted.

"If it's an emer-," He started to pull out a hidden walkie-talkie.

"No. No." I said, straightening up and pointing to the Space Mountain line. "I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. But, I need your guys' help."

All of a sudden Buzz Lightyear and Jasmine were flanking Peter, who now had his arms crossed, in this epic gang scene that would've been cool if I wasn't such a nervous bloody wreck about proposing to Lia. "Is that Lia Everwood?" Jasmine asked, craning her neck to get a better look. "Like, the Lia Everwood?"

I nodded. "That she is."

Peter looked at both his counterparts and then smiled at me. "We can help, what's the plan?"

"You know, I'm pretty sure their churros are made up of magic." Phil said as he bit into a churro as long as his foot.

"No, Phil. That's grease." Lia teased, the freckles on her nose creasing as she crinkled it cutely. God, I was so in love with her.

"Holy crap, it's Ariel! I got to get a picture with Ariel!" Phil cried suddenly and then dashed off, not waiting for us to follow him.

"He's so funny." Lia shook her head. She knew about what Phil did for me in while she was in the hospital, how protective and caring he became. Although we usually may only see one side of Phil, there was a deeper one and because of that, Lia respected and admired him for it.

"Ohmygoodness!" I heard the familiar battle cry of a crazed fangirl and turned around. There stood a girl that took on the resemblance of a butternut squash and had straight bright blue hair.

I leaned it quickly to Lia. "I'll take care of her."

"Okay. I'm going to go pretend to talk to Peter Pan over there." She pointed and then scurried off.

"Danisnotonfire." She beamed. "My day has just been made."

"I'm glad you're a fan." I said.

"Is Phil here too?"

"Somewhere." I scanned the immediate area. But there was no Phil is sight. I wondered if he was going to be done sexually harassing Ariel in time for me to pop the question.

"Well, I guess I'll leave you to it." She looked disappointed that the seemingly distracted, one-sided conversation.

An idea popped into my mind as the box and my camera that I remembered to take weighed down like bricks in my pocket.

"Hey! Wait up!" I ran up to the fan, gently touching her on her shoulder. She jumped like a bazillion feet in the air and span around, her blue hair almost hitting me in the face. "What's your name?"

"A-Allision." She stuttered, her eyes widening.

"Will you do me a favor?" I handed her my camera, since Phil was nowhere to be found. "Will you film my girlfriend and me?"

She took my camera gingerly like it was the Holy Grail or it was about to explode or something. "W-why?"

I smiled sheepishly and pulled out the black box that had gotten so heavy in my pocket. Her eyes widened and she jumped again and squealed. "OHMIGOD. OHMIGOD. YOU'RE GOING TO PRO-," My hand clamped shut over her mouth and she squeaked a little and looked up to me. "Shhh. It's a surprise." I looked over at Lia who was still busy talking to Peter Pan to make sure she hadn't heard. She may be able to see now, but she still had the bionic ears of a bat.

I caught Peter's attention and we locked eyes and he gave me the ever so slightest nod.

"Miss Lia." He said suddenly, bending over and offering his hand. "If you may."

Her eyes widened and she started stroking her collarbone, which meant she was confused or nervous. I waited nervously on the other side of the castle, placing the box back in my pocket and waited for Lia to be led through the gate.

All around Disney characters started popping up, each holding a brightly colored rose. I remembered how much she loved the roses and as she was led by Peter Pan she was handed a single rose by each character: Mickey, Mulan, Jasmine, Wendy, Buzz Lightyear. Each one had a different colored rose. Her eyes widened and her jaw slipped a little as the pile in her arms got bigger and bigger.

"Hi, baby." Her eyes sparkled in the moonlight as she greeted me quietly.

"Lia." I said, taking the roses out of her arms and handing them to Cinderella. "Lia, I love you and I never want to be without you and eight months ago, in London, I made a promise that I would never leave you. I want to make the rest of your life the fairytale you were convinced didn't exist." I dropped to my knee and pulled out the box, opening it. "I want to be your prince, Emilia Everwood, will you marry me?"

She burst into tears and threw herself on top of me, gripping me tight. "Of course. Of course." She murmured over and over. She pulled back long enough for me to slip the ring on her delicate finger and then resumed crying in my shoulder. The character actors around us clapped and hooted. I nuzzled my face into her neck, tears streaming down my face. The colors of the park were so bright around me, everything was so perfect. It was amazing. I couldn't have been happier.

Phil ran up and almost doubled over, putting his hands on top of his knees to catch his breath. Lia unburied her face to look at him and smiled a little. "Did I miss it?" He said after a moment.

"You missed it." She came over and gave him a big hug and then pulled away to show him the ring.

"Oh, darn it." He pouted.

"He didn't miss it!" Allison came screaming to a stop in front of Phil. "I got it all on camera!" She handed the camera to Phil and smiled sheepishly at me.

"Thank you, Allison."

She threw her hands up. "This has been the best day ever! Wait until my 11,000 followers on Tumblr hear about THIS! Oh, and for a thank you, you can follow me at one dash in dash a dash phillion dot tumblr dot com." She twisted to Phil. "I'm really sorry that it didn't work out Phil. Even though Dan's engaged now, Phan will always be my OTP.'"

"Wut?" Phil said and Lia started hysterically giggling, almost in tears again. Allison skipped off towards the other end of the park, while speed-texting whoever about what she had just experienced. I facepalmed. Of all fans, why did the Tumblr famous one? Why did the one crazed one that "shipped Phan?" Damn you, Delia Smith.

"Well, you know what that means?" Phil asked.

I pulled Lia close. "No, Phil. What does it mean?"

He held out the camera so we were all in the shot. "We're getting married!"


	24. Deleted Scene

**I was a little apprehensive uploading this, you know after the happy-go-lucky fluffy alternate ending. But, as a person who as worked in a mental facility and has seen the effects of depression first hand, I have to say it was interesting writing it from that standpoint. Anyway, here you go.**

**tw: depression; suicide**

* * *

DELETED SCENE

Dan

Time is irrelevant, I figured out, when the person you devoted your life to, filled the voids in your existence, suddenly vanished. It blurs together in this meaningless timeline that seemed to never end.

I laid on the floor of my bedroom, my window was cracked and it made my room uncomfortably cold, but I didn't care enough to get off the floor and close it. What was the point? Even if I did close it, I would still feel chilled, my warmth was gone, robbed by the icicle of guilt and misery in my chest that made me ache so bad that I could've cried out.

But I didn't. I just laid there. Pain, misery, guilt. I deserved it. It was my fault she's gone. These were my wounds to bear and suffer. I couldn't cry out, because Phil would hear it and get concerned and I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve sympathy. It was my fault. I needed to be punished for making the one thing in my life that was absolutely perfect disappear.

I promised her I wouldn't leave her. I promised her. Instead she left me. She left me.

It was all my fault.

I killed her.

I jammed my fist in my mouth to keeping me from audibly sobbing, the icicle twisted and burned, making me roll into a fetal position to alleviate the pain.

"Dan?" Phil called outside my door. But, I didn't answer him. There was no point. My existence didn't matter anymore. Not without her. "Dan, I left some food outside your door for you."

But I didn't eat. Eating was a form of self-preservation. What did I have left to preserve? This hole in my chest? The pain I created? I didn't want to preserve that, but I didn't want it to go away either. It was my form of punishment.

Time bleeds together when you have no one to share it with.

I forgot how long it was. Awhile, because the stabbing had turned into a dull ache, strong enough to remind me it was there, to make me unmotivated to get off the floor, but dull enough that I could forget about it at times.

But the guilt weighed down on me. It paralyzed me. The guilt is what made me wake up at night screaming for Lia, making still hope it was just some horrible nightmare that just won't end, made everything I touched in my room remind me of her somehow, how she told me she loved me with her dying breath.

The guilt is what made me want to die.

"Dan?" Phil called again. He had stopped calling so much; it was only once or twice a day now, to acknowledge that I was still here.

"What?" I whispered.

"C-can I show you something?" He asked weakly. I gripped carpet fibers and stifled tears. He was hurting himself over me because he cared about me. The guilt made it hard to breathe. I rolled to my knees, blood rushing to my head as I half-crawled to the door. I managed to use the doorknob to stand myself up. The icicle stabbed. What was I doing? I should get back on the floor. I opened the door to Phil, who was holding his MacBook in one hand and a bowl of spaghetti in the other. The sight of food made me want to vomit.

"What is it?" I snapped. This was a mistake. I should've never moved.

"It's about Lia." He looked down at his feet. He was concerned and I treated him like shit. I breathed in a deep breath to keep from having a full on anxiety attack and moved over to let Phil in.

He looked around and sighed a little. I had torn the place up. Every little detail, from her keyboard that sat in the corner to the little white socks that she had tossed on the bed before deciding on sandals that day of the accident reminded me of what I had done. Phil looked at me. "You look so thin."

"Maybe I'll die from starvation." I answered, not meeting his eyes.

"Please don't say things like that." He pleaded quietly. I had hurt Lia and now I was hurting him. The ache moved from my chest to right in between my eyes.

"What was it you were going to show me?" I asked, changing the subject. I watched as he sat down on the floor where I was lying and opened his laptop.

"She wanted me to film this for you." He started to explain. "She wanted to give it to you on your birthday because she said that no materialistic thing could describe how much she loved you."

He clicked 'play' and Lia sat all smiles behind her keyboard. She was wearing a top that I had gotten her shortly after she had moved in that brought out sapphire in her eyes. The sun bounced off her curls and she moved her hands softly over the keys.

"She's so beautiful." I murmured.

"_Happy birthday, baby_." She started playing a simple, yet wonderful song. It was quite funny, actually and if it was any other circumstances, I would've laughed. But it was still so beautiful I started to cry and the icicle turned and turned and ripped and tore and I couldn't breathe and everything was coming in on me at once and I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take living in a world without her. It was so unfair. Life was so unfair. It was all my fault and I couldn't take it anymore.

"Dan?"

"Get out!" I screamed. I put both hands to my head because silence was the loudest torture and I just couldn't take it anymore. "Please just get out." I sobbed hard in my usual spot on the floor as I watched Phil exit my room. "I can't hurt you too." I breathed. I couldn't control it anymore.

I hurt her.

I hurt Phil.

I killed her.

It was all my fault.

I scrambled to my bedside table where I knew I had some old Oxycodone from the last time I had a tooth drilled. I pulled out the little yellow bottle and saw all the little white pills sitting there. My solution to everything laid in those pills. Death would be my ultimate punishment. But also my ultimate reward.

And like an ocean after the storm, everything became so calm.

The icicle stopped tearing.

The hole stopped opening.

The guilt went away.

I wouldn't have to hurt Phil anymore.

I could be with Lia, wherever she was.

Everybody, everybody would be better without me.

I grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled out the first thing that came to mind, which happened to be the Lullaby song that Lia sang when I had first met her. The lyrics echoed in my head as I started popping pills in my mouth and dry swallowing them whole.

_My heart is shattered and broken_

I downed the whole bottle and grabbed the small bottle of vodka under my bed that I used to help me sleep sometimes when I would get anxious and downed that too.

_This place is cold and dead _

The pills started making my world turn around and around, I crawled up on my bed and laid down, hoping the world would stop turning so fast.

_And all I have are my demons_

I vomited once, but I couldn't feel my arms or legs anymore to stand up or do anything about it. I was there mentally, but it felt like I was detached from my body and floating somewhere. The room kept spinning and I heaved up more vomit.

_That live now inside my head_

Oh my God, what have I done?


End file.
